Hello, I have no where else to ask this and it's been going around my mind for the past 8 months or so and I'd like an answer. It's quite contradictory and it's making me very angry inside because I can't solve the contradiction, so some help would be nice. Contradiction 1: Mental illnesses don't cause people to be abusive, and that thinking so is discriminatory and ablest. BUT when a person with a mental illness does do something abusive It wasn't their fault, their mental illness made them do it, they aren't responsible for their actions and shouldn't be punished. I would like this answered in general, but it's worth noting that this contradiction has happened to me personally. Someone I know posts/likes posts saying "having a mental illness doesn't cause someone to be abusive" but when I asked why she used to be abusive to me, she said "I had depression" and refused to acknowledge the harm she did to me because of this. Contradiction 2: People, including those who have had a mental illness or have witnessed it first hand, say you should look after yourself and remove yourself from 'toxic' (harmful) situations and people that is affecting your mental/physical health. BUT when a person with a mental illness is being 'toxic' to you and is affecting your health You can't leave them, their mental illness is what's causing their actions, stop being discriminatory. This hasn't happened to me personally yet, but I'm entering the 'big wide world' and I need some help with knowing if I am allowed to leave the situation or not. Thank-you.
1) Mental illnesses don't cause people to be abusive. However, people in general have different ways of dealing with things. Abuse is wrong whether or not it was influenced or encouraged by a mental illness. It depends on the level, I think, whether they ought to be punished, but in my opinion everyone ought to take responsibility for their actions. There are some mental illnesses that cause impaired thinking and bad judgement which could have influenced their actions. Depression might have influenced her to act badly, and it is up to you whether you forgive or not, but if she is mostly better now, that may also play a part. It should not cause abuse, and I personally think she should take responsibility rather than hide behind a diagnosis, however it is not up to me to decide. 2) Avoid toxic people. If you're really close to a person who has a mental illness, but that relationship is endangering to your physical or mental health, then there are a couple of options. You could stop being around them often, if at all. You could encourage them and help them receive treatment for their illness(es). Or you could keep the relationship going at risk of your own health. Their mental illness might be causing their toxic actions, but if they aren't seeking treatment and are a threat, you need to look out for yourself. Another option is to try talking it out with them, and informing them of the issues you have with their behavior. If they try to hide behind illness, without attempting make things better, it might be best to put distance between yourself and the other person. I would also like to say that mental illnesses are not all the same- some actually do cause a person to behave a certain way, or they are diagnosed as x, y or z because of their personality and seeking treatment for that can sometimes mean cutting themselves off from emotions and being told that they way they act and behave and basically their entire personality, is wrong, and they need to fold and conform to the box that society has created for people. Hope that helped. (FYI I do a lot of research on mental illnesses but I am not a medical professional.)
You say that "Mental illnesses don't cause people to be abusive" but then "Some actually do cause a person to behave a certain way" But how does that work if their mental illnesses causes them to behave in a way that is abusive? -- It just sounds like people are saying "mental illnesses don't cause people to be abusive" so that people don't discriminate or not be friends with them, but then "mental illnesses cause people to have impaired judgment that might cause them to act badly" so they don't get punished for the abusive actions their mental illness makes them do, even though we can't say "mental illness makes them do it" because that's seen as abelist even if it's the truth when they *do* something abusive. It just sounds like people with mental illnesses and their allies are changing what it is (for an individual illness) so they get what they want - but a mental illness doesn't work on if you go to prison or not, or you don't have friends or not - if that mental illness is going to cause you to be abusive or not, but people are changing it so it does. [Sorry if this is confusing]. So with the above text in mind, how can I work out if someone's mental illness is going to cause them to act in a way that is abusive? (sorry, but I want to avoid that).
If a person is mentally ill and resorts to violence, it's usually a good idea to peel back the layers and explore the underlying issues and causative factors in the mental illness. For example, a victim of repetitive violence may be diagnosed with a mental illness and may go on to be violent themselves. So the pattern of violence in this case might have been embedded before the diagnosis. The mental illness isn't necessarily the cause, but the underlying issue/s might very well be.
