I keep going back and forth on this issue. Some days I want to shout it to anyone who can hear me, but I never do. But other days, like right now I say why? Whose business is it that I am gay. Why should I tell anyone? I never came out as straight? So I guess my question is why do I feel so conflicted? Why should I come out?
I feel a need to come out when it's necessary in the discussion, like when I'm discussing LGBT rights or relationships. Also I feel the need to tell my father about my girlfriend, just because I'm happy about being with her, but I don't know if I should do it or if it's a silly idea...
Before I came out, I shut down parts of my personality socially. People at work talked about who they thought was hot and I said nothing while my heart rate sped up. It stopped me dating. It even stopped me forming friendships because I knew that a question about my love life could potentially pop up somewhere down the line and I wasn't sure what I'd want to reveal. Not that I was conscious of all that. It's only in hindsight that I can see it. The first time I came out infront of a large group of people, I shook all over. Made me realise how scared I'd been before without realising it. Just occasionally, I'm a tiny bit embarrassed to have 'come out'. Like, with my family, who are fine with it, but it meant being vulnerable at the time. I wanted to wait until I had a girlfriend, but I've been single too long! I'm glad I'm not censoring myself with people anymore. Coming out can be a gradual process. If you can increase the amount of 'safe' people you've come out to, it can make telling the more intimidating people a bit easier.
It's necessary if you're in a relationship as nobody wants to be kept a total secret. Otherwise, It's not really anyone's business.
