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The idea of dating my own ethnicity feels like dating a family member

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Tre, Apr 22, 2017.

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  1. Tre

    Tre
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    So I'm an ethnic minority. The idea of dating my own ethnicity just feels like dating a family member. Is this a sign of self-hatred? I also don't know too many people of my ethnicity that aren't family members. Since I have to cope with the whole gay thing, I don't want people to think I'm dating myself.
     
    #1 Tre, Apr 22, 2017
  2. resu

    resu
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    You don't have to date within your ethnic group, and if you don't know many who are non-family, it sounds like you may need to look somewhere else, either another city or a country/region where there are more people with thst ethnicity. Or, you can just date other people. Try not to care what other people might think because it's your relationship, not theirs.
     
    #2 resu, Apr 22, 2017
  3. SHACH

    SHACH
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    Yeah i sorta feel this way too. I'm mixed race but all the black people i knew growing up were related to me so i almost never sexualise anyone black in my head. Sometimes it happens but it's so rare i find it unlikely thati will date anyone black. Sounds supremely racist but i just find it unlikely, its not something I'm averse to.
     
    #3 SHACH, Apr 22, 2017
  4. cakepiecookie

    cakepiecookie
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    Huh, I've never heard that one before.

    I guess if your family are basically the only people you've ever known of your ethnicity, it plays a weird trick on your brain. I'm not saying it's "right" to feel this way, exactly, but I can see why you would.

    You're wayyy overthinking it here. Just date who you want to date. I mean, I look very typical of the people where I live, so by default I'm probably going to end up dating women who look a bit like me. It's just not something worth being concerned about. If someone ever makes a shitty comment, turn it around onto them and ask "Would you say that to a straight person? What makes you think it's okay to say something so rude?"
     
    #4 cakepiecookie, Apr 22, 2017
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