So hey E.C. people, I've been talking to this guy on and off again for a few months. I kind of like(more than a friend) him, but my friends think he is a bad idea. Which I feel is a little unreasonable since their relationships are with complete ***holes who cheat and stuff. But any who, he's nice and not as aloof as most other guys I had talked too. The thing is, he's four years older and everybody says we should not try to date and etc... I honestly not sure what do, Opinions?
Hey Missedchances, Four years at those ages is very significant. He is much further along in life than you are right now. He's an adult. He can legally drink alcohol. You're still in high school and you are still a minor. If there is any sexual activity between the two of you, he can get into real trouble. I don't actually know the guy, of course, but your friends do and if they are warning you that dating him is bad news, then I think you should definitely listen to them. Does he want to date you? If so, then you should consider why. Can't he find a boyfriend who is much closer to his own age - or at least also a legal adult? Why do you want to date him?
Thats a loaded question the last thing. But firstly my friends dont know him and their choices in guys are alot worse than mine tbh. Their "advice" is mainly ignore all possible people that you could like. Also i dont think I want to date him I think its more the possibility of dating him
It sounds like you're in different life stages. It probably won't work out. It'd be best to move on now before you get even more attached to the idea.
Well, that puts a different slant on this conversation. Your 'friends' don't sound very reliable. But if they don't even know the guy, then what are your 'friends' really basing their opinions/recommendations on? So maybe my last question was loaded, but you are the one that raised it in your initial post. So, if you DON'T want to date him, that's fine. Why, then, do you want to hang around with a guy that much older at your age? (I'm not judging. I'm just asking.)
Well, that puts a different slant on this conversation. Your 'friends' don't sound very reliable. But if they don't even know the guy, then what are your 'friends' really basing their opinions/recommendations on? So maybe my last question was loaded, but you are the one that raised it in your initial post. So, if you DON'T want to date him, that's fine. Why, then, do you want to hang around with a guy that much older at your age? (I'm not judging. I'm just asking.)[/QUOTE] SO firstly my friends are kinda idiots and theyre basing their opinions through very superficial means as in theyre like hes 21 such a grandpa even though he can pass of as a senior in highschool. He's not much older and its sort of like hanging out with like a senior friend or soo...
No, of course, he's not a Grandpa or even a Daddy by any means, Missedchances. But he is significantly older than you are - by which I mean that even a year or two difference at your ages is significant. Being friends with him probably isn't a big deal, but considering being bfs with him at this point could potentially be an issue, as I stated earlier. It kinda sounds like you haven't thought out just what you want to do here, yet. So, what do YOU want to do and why? (That's not something I necessarily need to know, but I'm really just asking if you know.)
I really have no idea what I want to do becuz I do like him alot, but idk, ill just ignore my feelings
At that age, it may very well work in the short-term (i.e. for a couple of months), but realistically the chances for long-term success in this relationship are pretty small. I don't know how much difference there is in maturity, but I think for someone who has presumably been graduated from high school for some time to be looking back at that age group is a bit of a red flag to me. I agree with others that its probably better to steer clear for now and find someone who you may able to build something more material with, rather than a short fling.
Hey there.... Funny how a lot of us go through similar things. Here's what I would say - listen to exactly what your friends are saying. Do they think he's immature? A douche? Going to leave you? Look at that and see if it's just that he's coming across different or if they are valid. I am not saying you should get rid of the guy - but just value what your friends (people you have known longer and know you well) are saying. Also, in regards to age, it really can make a difference. Again, not saying you should end it - but just that you are at different points. I'm friends with a guy who is 20 (I'm 24) and he's starting to date and look at guys that are pretty immature. I think my friend is mature in his own life but immature with dating. Although I am equally as mature in dating, I still have more years on him and know more. Thinking of you!
