Over the last few days my boyfriend has been bringing up his concerns for our future. Mostly the fact I'm out is the only think preventing us from living together, we're a long distance relationship, see eachother every other weekend, but I recently brought my first house so we're in a posistion to live together. The biggest problem I have is that I tried coming out in the past, to my mum, she rejected me and begged me not to pursue it, I had my current boyfriend then too, that was horrifying, she also told me she asked my dad his views that night, and told me he would reject it aswell, I'm 22 years old, I've had a boyfriend for 4 years, and now we want to progress our relationship but I'm too scared now. I know people say if I'm independent and don't rely on my parents it won Be as bad, but knowing I may get rejected from my parents and lost contact with them, even if it's just for a year, how am I supposed to be ok with that? How do I come out? I'm an awkward social mess anyway, I wouldn't know the protocol of how to deal with that, I go to my parents every Sunday for dinner, would that stop? I don't even know, the dinner isn't important, but it also kind of is, it's maintaining a relationship with my parents which ofc I want, aswell as for my boyfriend to move in. I'm stuck, and scared
My two cents is you are who you are and need to live to happy for yourself . If my kids did things only to make me happy I would be super upset. You are an adult , you are gay and you have a wonderful boyfriend and to have a complete relationship be yourself . Ultimately they will love you no matter what period . There is a line I heard in a TV show that resonates "tomorrow Ian never promised!" Live your life
I spent half my life trying to make my father happy. You have to live your life! If you don't you will have regrets later. Dean
I wish it was that easy, what is probably one of the biggest difficulties I have is that, well, I don't really let my parents down, since school I've been fully employed, ive been financially well off of my own accord, I recently brought my own home, my parents and grandparents are really proud, my older brother is a total disappointment, doesn't exactly have a job, has a daughter with one girl, left her then got together with a new girlfriend who already had a Daugher and they're all living wit my parents, my brother, his current girlfriend and the 2 young daughters, it's hard for me to go from being, and i really don't want To sound snobbish, but from goody tooshoes to, well the son who's gay, It would be a complete turn around to who they think I am, especially as they don't want a gay son
I agree. You shouldn't think about others all the time. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't think of their happiness at all, but this is an important life decision for you, and ultimately you should think of what would make you happy. Think of your boyfriend's happiness as well, it would be unfair and disappointing for him if you put your family before him all the time. You are a very successful person, and they shouldn't treat you any differently because of who you choose to love. Hope this helps, and that all will turn out well for you and your boyfriend.