Hey everyone! The title pretty much says it all. I've only started to be interested in girls this year. Very few friends know (most of them not too close). My best friend (girl) doesn't know. We've known each other since we were just little girls. She won't really mind I'm sure of that. But somehow I'm still terrified to tell her...I'm not into her AT ALL. I mean she's the best, she's pretty and deserves to be with the most perfect person on the planet. BUT not for me:') But maybe she'll try to get some distance? I'm somehow afraid of that things between us might change. I talk to her about boys and pretty much everything that goes on in my life...we sleep together. We're like sisters. It's ridiculous because I feel bad that she isn't the first person I tell hysterically how pretty I found some girl I met...or how adorable the cashier at some supermarket was...or how attractive some girl of my school is:') At the same time I can't manage to tell her in the end. Told myself I would a couple of times now already. Anyone been in the same situation? How did it go? Should I just tell her without thinking about it too much? xxx
I've honestly never had a problem when it came to coming out to good friends. Usually they don't think anything of it, especially if feelings aren't involved.
Hey, I really understand your concerns. Unfortunately, I myself am way too confused about everything to help with my own experience. But maybe my thoughts help, anyway? I think if you've known each other since you were kids and you feel like sisters, she's probably not going to feel like this changes your relationship. Also, maybe you can mention your worries and how you feel about her?
Thank you We'll meet tomorrow so I'll try. Your thoughts did definitely help ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2017 at 07:30 PM ---------- As I just wrote on the message above. I'll try talking to her tomorrow. It's really important to me that I tell her and not somebody else. So thank you... I'll write about how it went..Hopefully well! xxx ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2017 at 07:31 PM ---------- And yes!! thank you Creativemind, so I hope
Hey. I'm not out completely yet.. But when I told my best mate I was sooo scared... Like full on shaking... I had to get really drunk to do it.. We had been mates for about 8 or 9 years too before I told him... But you know what he was completely fine about it... And has really helped me come to terms with it all in the last year since I told him. He's even been out to gay bars with me... One thing I've noticed is our friendship has got a lot better ever since I told him...so I ain't an expert on this... As I still have a Way to go yet.. But one thing I've realised is most ppl actually don't care.. I dunno why we all make such big deals about it in our heads coz in reality we are not centre of everyone else's lives so whilst we feel this is a big deal to us... Its just not to most ppl especially nowadays... My advice is to go for it... Tell her... If she does decide to distance herself then I know this is a cliche but she really ain't worth ya time... Best of luck tho... Hope it goes well for ya.. Im sure it will..
mk86 It's amazing that everything went so well with your friend and you I really was about to tell her last time we met... But then someone stole my wallet with everything (credit card, NIE, and so on..) so we were so worried about that that I didn't even think about anything else anymore. Thanks to all of you I'm not scared anymore. I just want to find the right moment. Hopefully soon though.
Ah damn... That's not ideal... Let me know it goes when you do tell her. I'm now trying to work up the courage to tell my parents before they find out from someone else lol but keep making silly excuses not to... I think I would reread what I typed to you lol coz I know it just ain't a big deal but I keep making it one in my head! Ergh... Be so happy once it's done with!
haha god I think I know how you feel mk86 I might be making up excuses too. but yes, I'll have to tell her soon. don't want her to find out because of someone else...
I have a best friend of 11 years, like a sister to me. One of my biggest worries about coming out that was that people would think there had been something going on between us or that I had been in love with her or something - when I had never thought of her in that way. This was one of the first questions my mum asked me. I told my best friend over text once I'd had a few drinks, I was going on my first date with a girl and didn't want to go with out her knowing. She took a while to respond and didn't really engage with it, but then called me after the date. Even now she doesn't engage with my sexuality as much as some of my other friends, and I don't know if its because she feels uncomfortable, or just really sees it as such a non-issue. I am still a bit nervous/conscious every time I bring it up with her, but each conversation does get easier and more natural. Best of luck. Maybe drop some hints beforehand, like pride symbols and current lgbt news?
No exactly you don't... Do you know one thing I hate about sites like this..? Is most of the advice is tell ppl when your ready... Not that I'm getting at anyone cos ppl on here are fantastic... But it's such a commonly used piece of advice... What I wanna hear is JFDI (just f***in do it) lol... That's what my best mate keeps telling me lately anyway.... Or maybe stop being a wimp and get it over and done with coz u know what... The current situation with how I'm feeling can't be any worst than if everyone knew about it... Can it? Appreciate thats not same for everyone but I live in my own place... Im safe.. I live in UK which is fairly liberal in most parts... Floweroflife... Reckon u and I just need to man up..,lol x
mk86... I guess I do not completely understand then... but well I am NOT you, so that's only natural. Maybe if we were really close friends I would tell you to get it over with. I guess being anonymous still doesn't stop us from being a bit more distant with people we do not know...so we try being helpful without offending (so I wouldn't take that too serious). I'll try to watch myself not to do it. Might be that I'd automatically say the same. And you know, if you really feel that you're in this anxious situation and need someone to kick you in the ass to get yourself together and do it, your friend will probably do that:') I'm going to be curious so if you want text me and share how it went xx ---------- Post added 11th Apr 2017 at 11:33 PM ---------- *** I think for myself I prefer to just tell her straight forward. But the hints might be helpful for some other people And maybe your friend is just a bit unsure on how you expect her to react... Maybe that's why she doesn't want to talk about it too much. I have discovered that for most people the least important part is that someone actually is gay...I mean nothing changes really does it? They might just not know if they're like aloud to talk about it... maybe you should just ask her and if it gets more natural every time that's cool. Will surely soon be totally normal!
I find just saying telling your friends is such a relief when you do tell them. I knew I was gay when I was 14 but did not "officially" come out until I was 21, my point is don't rush it and your friends will still love you for you, there just may be some teasing when they start talking about their boyfriends and then they gave you a look and you look back oh so innocently. (*hug*):roflmao:
I'd just like to say, FlowerOfLife, that for my own friends (all of whom have been totally accepting of my sexuality), it totally depends on the individual when I want to just have open discussions that relate to sexuality/crushes/romantic interests. Most of my friends are straight guys. Some are just fine about having a real, serious discussion about all of that. Others are fine with it just as long as I'm only talking opposite-sex (hetero) issues/concerns/questions. The ones that don't like to talk to me about same-sex issues/concerns/questions aren't being mean, it just makes them uncomfortable. I can respect that - and I do. By the same token, I won't hide the fact that I have a boyfriend from them (if I do have a boyfriend at the time). I won't stop being me, but I also don't see a need (beyond straightforward education about LGBTQ realities and issues) to 'put it in their face', so to speak. But real friends are always worth keeping. I don't think it's a big deal to only go to friends that are comfortable talking with me about same-sex issues when I want to discuss those kinds of issues and somewhat limiting my conversations with those who are uncomfortable with that.
Thankyou<3 I really appreciate these kind of little stories you and others have shared here with me. Gives me some motivation to 'come out' myself ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2017 at 06:00 PM ---------- I guess you are right... What you're saying makes perfect sense...and yes, maybe with some friends I would automatically not talk about my love/relationship problems or questions...cause it is as you say: some people feel quite uncomfortable about it and I need to respect that. I feel almost guilty cause it seems I'm making this a great deal, when it's most probable (and hopefully) going to be fine. I do appreciate all your support though, really
