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How long did it take for your parents to accept you?

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by dyl pickle, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. dyl pickle

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    Simply asking because I know it's not an easy process for my parents, but I came out 7 months ago and my mum won't even let me buy something like men's shampoo or deodorant, meanwhile my father won't even speak to me about anything related to the matter (approaching him isn't an option, he terrifies me. ex., my brother asked if he would still love him if he was gay and my dad flat out said "no." and then "f*** off".

    He's also "never wrong" so he insists he never said that.

    Anyway, what was your experience with this whole thing?
     
  2. Andrew99

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    -11 years for my mom and about 0 seconds for my dad.
     
  3. Worker Bee

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    My dad apparently never did
     
  4. Linkmaste

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    That's rough man. I'm sorry to hear that.

    Uh, ten years. Yeah....they're still working out some details but mostly, they're cool with me being gay.
     
  5. kibou97

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    My Mom accepted me immediately. As for my dad, it's a really complicated situation but basically, I don't see any reason for me to tell him.
     
  6. Sawyer

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    Still waiting for my mom to accept me, it's been 5 years. As for my dad, he was oddly okay with it, but sometimes forgets.
     
  7. dyl pickle

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    Thanks everyone, I guess I've go a long path ahead of me, can't wait til I'm 18 :lol:
     
  8. lonewolf79

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    My mom I think still has some issue... it's been 12 years... she really needs to get the memo soon! She will still slip up and mention one day I would have a wife... but I ignore it now.
    My dad... it never comes up. We never talk about it at home anyway.
     
  9. Non binary kid

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    My parents immediately accepted me, and I'm sure yours will someday too. My family is very liberal, what helped, and all my friends are fine with it. It's partially just a matter of finding people who will accept you :slight_smile:
     
  10. Lacayda

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    It took exactly 0 seconds. My mum was like "I always knew one of my kids would be gay". Turned out she was right:lol:
     
  11. I'm gay

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    My dad died before I came out, so he never knew. It took my mom a couple of weeks to come to peace with it.
     
  12. HopelessDreamer

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    My mom accepted it fairly quickly, my dad wasn't too long behind, though a little more hesitant.
     
  13. PrinceVegeta

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    my mother had one of those.. "looks" but accepted it within a few minutes... My father is a completely different story. On another angle though, my siblings took it extremely well.
     
    #13 PrinceVegeta, Mar 28, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2017
  14. matt4907

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    It took my mom about a year but my dad still doesn't talk to me. I hope everything works out okay between you and your parents, it just takes time.
     
  15. Eyerene

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    Both of my parents, and even my older brother, were really supportive. I wasn't sure exactly how they would react, so I was nervous. I was really lucky that they didn't really mind it. However, I know I have some people in my extended family that wouldn't react well at all, so I'm keeping it to myself for now.
     
  16. DadOfBisa

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    I was never anywhere NEAR a closet. I had girlfriends sometimes and boyfriends sometimes, and I never cared who knew it. But my parents were in total denial. I'm twftfthforty-three now (I don't like saying that out loud), and my father died a few years ago still never even coming close to anything remotely resembling "accepting". My mother seems even less likely to ever do so.

    On the other hand, my 14 year old son told me he was gay when he was 11 and my response was "Ok, what do you want for dinner?" (Not literally, but just as 'not-a-big-deal'--ish.) Also, I'm thinking it's pretty likely that my daughter (12) is either gay or bi or whatever, and I couldn't care less about that either. The ***ONLY*** thing that matters to me is that they're happy.:icon_bigg

    So you never know.

    From what you've said, my guess would be that your mother is probably going to take a while before she can really handle it (and "accepting" might even be too much to expect). Your father sounds like a real piece of work (I can relate to that), and I just wouldn't get your hopes up for him ever being anywhere near "Ok with it".

    Of course, I could be wrong. I've been wrong before -- twice!:lol:
     
    #16 DadOfBisa, Mar 30, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
  17. rokara

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    I came out to my mom and uncle about 10 months ago. My uncle was super proud of me (he's always been more of a big brother to me than an uncle, even with a 10 year difference between us) and offered to be a source of info and support.

    My mom took it in stride and said that no matter what she'd always love me for who I am and that I had her support in whatever I chose to do.

    I haven't told my step-dad or my siblings yet, but I have a feeling (based on how my uncle came out as gay over 10 years ago and thier reactions) they'd be super accepting and loving.
     
  18. Amdukias

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    So... I came out around three times already:
    1. When I was 15 my mother asked me if I got a problem with being a girl and I told her "yes". She started talking pretty negative about it immediately, saying stuff like "You'd better be just an hardcore lesbian" and "I don't believe in trans*"
    2. When I was 17 I came out to my father, and it took him some time to recognize, that this is actually a thing. He believed me, but didn't take it serious at all, thinking logic would solve the whole thing and there wouldn't be anything to change.
    3. February 2017, a month after I turned 18 I came out to my parents and sister again. My sister accepted me, and started using male pronouns in around 50% of our conversation, but stopped after my mother started yelling at me.

    = May an similiar situation to yours. My family pretends that nothing ever happened. They're not behaving like they'd throw me out and stuff, but they don't accept me either. Good thing for me is that I'm an adult by now, but in the end it doesn't help me cause I don't wanna break of contact.
     
  19. Creativemind

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    Didn't take any time at all. My mom was immediately accepting in seconds.
     
  20. dyl pickle

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    Aw thank you, I hope things work out with your dad as well.

    ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2017 at 11:07 PM ----------

    and once again, thank you everyone who has responded