1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm strongly considering prostituting myself?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by maricamagica, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. maricamagica

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I'm male, 21 and fairly attractive which gets me a lot of male attention and prompts especially older men to offer me money in exchange for sex with them. I usually reject those advances but I'm really broke right now and am in desperate need of money. Recently I met an older guy on a dating app, whom I don't exactly attractive but I pursued chatting with him anyway because I knew he was wealthy. I proposed a sugar daddy kind of relationship. A mutually beneficial agreement where he pays me money for clothes, vacations etc. and I give sexual favors. So now I'm strongly considering prostituting myself because I could really need the money. It would be the perfect job. I don't really think it would be emotionally scarring for me as I'm in therapy and am on antidepressants so I'm quite emotionally stable right now. I'm kind of an emotional rock, nothing throws me off. So I'm not worried about being hurt, I just am afraid it may come back to haunt me one day as I'm pursuing a quite ambitious career. What do you guys think? Please note that I'm German and prostitution is legal here.
     
  2. Zen fix

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2015
    Messages:
    694
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    The easy answer go ahead if you want to. It's legal and you need the money. But it seems like the kind of thing you should really think about. Even if it isn't emotionally devastating that doesn't mean it might not be unhealthy for you. If you do it only for the money but have no desire to do this kind of work then perhaps you shouldn't.

    Since it's legal there are there resources for people considering taking on the work? Can you speak with other sex workers to get information on what to expect?
     
  3. jaska

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new zealand
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have heard very bad stories of prostitutes getting abused or attacked, even in brothels there have been so many stories of women being over-worked and used. It's legal here too, but that doesn't seem to decrease the amount of risk involved and that doesn't even include the risk of diseases and physical problems. However I don't personally know much about it, let alone male prostitution. Most of what I know is from other people who've been involved and the news, but that has been enough for me to understand that it is a job that needs a strong heart and a lot of self confidence. If you decide to pursue it, then I hope it goes well for you :wink:
     
  4. Euler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2015
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Apart from the stigma that might hurt your career, it does not really sound like you are in an emotional state to do this line of work.

    I am by no means against prostitution but I do believe that it's one of those works which requires you to be in a very strong position mentally. Judging from the fact that you are on anti-depressants and going to therapy I would say you are not in a mentally strong state right now. In fact it might hurt your current progress. Consult your therapist about this. My recommendation is, don't do it unless you absolutely have to. It's still better than resorting to crime.

    If you choose to pursue this line of work, I suggest you consult someone who is already in the industry about the best practices in safety, pricing etc.

    Also, do note that getting yourself a sugar daddy is not exactly the same as doing regular prostitution. It's more or less of an "exclusive prostitution" where you by necessity develop fairly intimate relationship to your client. You would want to write a contract that covers all conceivable situations that might arise and be very clear about the terms of what your arrangement is about.
     
  5. Assassin'sKat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2016
    Messages:
    645
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Your head, zombie.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It depends what kind of future job you were trying to get.

    But I mean, really you could keep this private. Just don't post about it online or anything.
     
  6. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Before I spend time answering, based on your previous threads, are you genuinely seeking input, or have you already made up your mind and are simply looking for confirmation of a decision you've already made?
     
  7. maricamagica

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm definitely going to consult my therapist about this but he doesn't seem to be too concerned about things like prostitution.
    Yes, I might seem vulnerable considering I'm in psychiatric care but I've grown to be emotionally numb, sort of "indestructable". I've hardened myself over the years of going through emotional trauma and now I can hardly imagine any hardships that would startle me. And I don't want to do regular prostitution but rather a sugar daddy kind of prostitution.

    I want to become a surgeon one day and I'll start med school in October.
     
  8. Euler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2015
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well, it's not only about getting somehow emotionally traumatized. It's more like becoming emotionally even more numb is what I would be more concerned of. It's a little bit in a similar way how you grow numb to death in a war or in a profession where you see a lot of death such as rescue services.

    Also, make sure you don't sell yourself too cheaply. You are still fairly young. Especially older and more experienced clients (no matter what industry actually) tend to have upper hand just because of their larger experience.

    Somehow I'm not surprised by this answer. It takes a special kind of mindset to become a surgeon.
     
  9. maricamagica

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    What do you mean by special mindset?
     
  10. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The stereotype I'm aware of about surgeons (confirmed by many other physicians and even some surgeons I know) is that they are unusually arrogant and have little respect for others viewpoints. I don't know if this is what Euler is referring to.
     
  11. maricamagica

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I don't think that's what he means since that would have little to do with me considering getting a sugar daddy.
     
  12. Luka99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2017
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Earth
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If you are on anti depressants and in therapy, how can you say you are stable?
    Atleast consider talking with your therapist about this. You don't need extra emotional scars.

    And remember MONEY is NOT everything! It's just paper!
    You are probably better of trying to find help getting a job or some kind of gvt subsidy or something.

    Please talk to your therapist first.... I'm begging you.

    Luka

    P.s. if your therapist doesn't care wether you will go into this line of work, consider getting another one.
     
    #12 Luka99, Mar 28, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2017
  13. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Totally agree with all of the above.

    While it isn't the role of a therapist to comment or judge a client's decisions, if the therapist isn't inviting discussion of concerns and helping you navigate the potential problems and consider them, then the therapist really isn't doing his or her job.
     
  14. cakepiecookie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Somewhere
    I'm not outright opposed to sex work, but it sounds like it would be a terrible idea for you. You don't sound emotionally stable at all (I don't mean that insultingly – we all have our issues!), you're desperate for money which means you're making this choice out of desperation rather than calm logic, and you want to get into a prestigious career down the road.

    Unless this guy's been living like a monk, you're also opening yourself up to STIs. And your health is worth *so* much more than money, believe me.

    If you're determined to do this regardless, talk to some guys who've been in the business for a while. Do they regret it? How do they stay safe? What tips do they have for staying sane and healthy? And is it really worth it?
     
  15. Euler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2015
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I was primarily referring to your dissociation or disregard from your own and other's emotions. This might be beneficial trait as many surgeries involve risk of death or injury to the patient, not to mention the pain caused to the patients. One cannot be too emphatic if one wishes to function effectively.

    However, what Chip said is not too far off either. In some of your threads you have come across somewhat arrogant and dismissive of criticism. It doesn't really matter if you think you are not like that. People are going to treat you the way they think you are.
     
    #15 Euler, Mar 29, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2017
  16. maricamagica

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2017
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm actually quite empathetic. Sometimes I wish I could turn it off because it hurts so much to constantly feel other people's pain. I'm just really numb when it comes to my own emotional suffering. My empathy I was born with, the numbness came later after going through some emotional trauma.
     
  17. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,359
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Honestly, I think it's a terrible idea. If you have already been exposed to mental suffering and trauma in your life, you are only setting yourself up for more harm by going down this route. Do not imagine that you are numbed to all suffering; nobody can make such a claim. Meeting random men, whose sexual intentions, motivations and proclivities are totally unknown is high risk on so many levels and there is every possibility that it could bite you on the arse and embarrass you in the future.

    In the end, you must decide for yourself, but since you asked for opinions, I've given mine.