I have so much on my mind. I am recently married 8 months to be exact. I have told my husband that I am a lesbian and he is not too pleased. I am ashamed that I have discovered who I am at this point. I am also in love with another female and he is preventing me from seeing her. I need some advice please, I think I am about to lose my mind.
It's never to late to be honest with yourself and with others, so don't be ashamed you found out now. Are you considering a divorce? If you don't, things will stay complicated.
Thats a tough situation you have my sympathy. How did you come to recently realise you were a lesbian?
Well, the obvious place to start is by figuring out how to separate from your husband. Are you financially independent? Romance can come later. I don't blame your husband for not wanting his newlywed wife to see someone else. Sort out your current relationship before you jump into the next one. It's not your fault for feeling the way you feel, but you're still a grown adult who should be able to act responsibly.
I have recently accepted it. I knew for years that I liked women I just never knew what it meant. He allowed me indulge with them not expecting me to fall in love. I have always preferred women, just afraid to let others know. I have now accepted that I am a lesbian. ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2017 at 07:27 PM ---------- I am financially independent. My husband has encouraged this type of behavior. He just didn't expect me to fall in love with a girl, but I did! And I have always acted responsibly, this just got out of control. I have accepted who I am, but no one else does.
In an ideal world, I would be able to have my husband and my female companions m. But that's impossible. He just told me this morning to sever all communication with her and I have agreed. I have completely cut her off.
There's one important question nobody seems to have asked yet. Your husband--do you actually love him? Does he actually love you? In today's cynical world, most marriages are honestly more like some sort of business deal than an actual marriage; a deal between two people not to be alone made due to a sense of necessity and because at some point there was probably some type of attraction. Everybody these days settle for somebody and then try to mold their partner into what they want. Men are taught never to show or feel emotions. Women are taught to never let a man dominate them and to dominate the man back. People only get into relationships for selfish reasons. The result is a relationship where the two parties spend their time trying to get their will through; to be the dominant party. This is not love. Love is dedicating yourself to another person and them dedicating themselves to you. Love is trying your hardest to make them happy and trust them to try their hardest to make you happy. Love is showing them your emotions, feeding off of their reactions and having them do the same. Whenever you see a couple of 90-year olds who have been together since they were 20 and still love each other, this is how they do it. This is how you can spend decades with one person and still feel your heart skip a beat when you see them smile. So the big questions are these: Do you want to dedicate yourself to your husband? Does he want want to dedicate himself to you? If the answer to either of those questions is "no", then the solution is simple--don't.
