I feel like I need to get this off my chest: I am SO tired of being the token lesbian in my group of friends (all of whom identify as straight). I constantly get asked questions that I'm expected to answer on behalf of all lesbians. Although I'm happy to educate them on some of the issues, I deeply wish there was another lesbian, or bisexual friend in our group, just to have someone to relate to... to be like "did you hear how ridiculous that question/comment was?!" Yesterday was the good ol' "how do lesbians have sex" question... (round five hundred) Followed by, "is scissoring a thing?" And "I don't get why girls who are 'lesbian' use things that emulate straight sex, like a strap on. Aren't they gay?" I have never in my life asked any of my straight friends how they have sex with their partners, or the positions they use, or made comments on their choice of toys... and yet this always comes up!! Where are all my gay friends at?! Does this ever stop?
This is why I haven't come out to anyone in real life. I get very uncomfortable with the thought of this happening. The only friend I'm out to isn't straight (although she isn't same-sex attracted either- she's aro ace) so stuff like this never comes up. I can always rant to her about idiots who do this, and she can rant to me about idiots who pressure her into sex/relationships. Not all straight people do this but It's sooooo hard to judge who will and who won't. So damn exhausting. If you're sick of it, maybe you should tell them to stop or to mind their own business.
//sorry I'm not a lesbian myself But yes I think its pretty annoying to come across people asking questions like that its just no stop. I have a cool trans male friend I can talk about anything with esp about if I came across idiots like that. Have you tried telling your friends to stop?
The one that left me speechless even tho I know there was only curiosity behind the comment was "So which of you is the man?"
It probably has to due with all of the media made stereotypes, and the fact that most people have zero knowledge about how sex works even between straight people. The world has spent so much time saying how "sinfull" it is that really only gays and lesbians know how it works. Next time, just ask them a equally odd straight question instead of giving an answer.
I should totally come up with a probing straight question as a comeback. I feel like that would highlight how uncomfortable and weird the situation is that they put me in. That's a great tip! Now I only need to think of some good questions...
Let me help with that. 1) In what kind of positions they have sex? 2) Does sex feel different if you are trying to conceive a child as opposed to just having fun? 3) How often they have sex? 4) What kind of fantasies they have? 5) How long a typical sex act lasts? 6) Is it easier to tell if the opposite sex is interested in you or not? 7) Do they worry about accidental pregnancies?
While the above ones are good, I have options that are much more rude and get the point across: 1. How can you have sex with a penis involved? Didn't the statistics say that 80% of women can't orgasm from a penis? 2. Why do straight women receive oral sex? I mean, aren't you straight? Cunnilingus is usually associated with lesbians. 3. I don't get why men are so obsessed with anal. It emulates the mechanics of gay sex. Don't you have to stick it in a vagina to be straight? Otherwise, why not sleep with men? 4. Isn't the purpose of hetero sex to reproduce? Why do straight people use birth control? Isn't that going against nature? 5. Why are straight people so sex-obsessed? I don't think about my own sexual activities or talk about my sex life nearly as much. 6. How do you even know that you're straight if you haven't had a same-sex encounter? 7. I'm flattered, but I'm really not sexually attracted to you. Are you interested in me? Why would you keep asking these questions?
Heya, Ah man, I can't wait to be asked these probing questions! (I hope that came off as sarcasm.) The only relationship I've ever had was with a girl, but we were young and we didn't do anything explicitly gay in public so I guess people just thought it was super friendly and innocent. Girls tend to get gay stuff be counted (I don't think that's the right word) as friendly. I've also tended to only stick around with LGBT people or people who are really accepting and... they don't think about that or know not to ask that. I dunno, it's probably because I don't have many friends and I'm young. Though if I want to change that I'll probably come across these questions. I once got a bizarre statement said to me that went something like "I'm straight because I want to have sex." She didn't even state the "only with a man" part or anything, just kind of left it hanging as if people in gay relationships don't have sex. Thankfully I'm not friends with her anymore. Maybe try asking them, "Is straight sex real? I've only seen it on television." (Admittedly I don't know anything about any kind of sex because I am a puny, shy, demisexual teenager. Probably works better if it doesn't seem like you're seriously asking this question). :lol: Bee ---------- Post added 27th Mar 2017 at 02:06 PM ---------- Oh my good heavens!
LMAO I don't actually believe hetero sex is only for reproduction, of course. But It's a good counter to the morons who argue against the mechanics and validity of gay sex.
I actually brought up a similar point when they wouldn't stop probing! Like hmm let's talk about how most straight women don't orgasm from penetration... and then think about why you're questioning lesbian sex... don't worry ladies it's not too late to jump on the gay bandwagon, and there's tons of room! hahaha