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Why so cold?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Marceline, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. Marceline

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    Hey guys, I'm looking for advice.

    So i started my classes in october and there she was in my group - tall, self-confident and bossy, always doing something and taking responsibilities for the whole group. At first I did not find her attractive but after a few weeks I started to find her character pretty interesting. The only problem was that we never talked. Although I am not shy and she obviously is not too, we somehow managed not to talk for 3 months but the funny part is that she commented my posts on social media. When we had classes she pretended not to see me, when I caught her staring at me she immediately turned away. After the first semester the whole group decided to meet and celebrate. I came a little late, the rest already had a few beers. I started drinking too, after some time there were only like 6 of us left. And then she started talking to me, I was pretty confused because she just couldn't stop. Whenever I cracked a joke she was laughing, she was staring me in the eyes all the time and she did not leave my side for a few hours. I felt that there is a connection. We went home at 6am.
    But the weird thing is that when we came back to uni it was the same as before. We did not talk, not even said hi for like a month. I only caught her staring at me. Then I decided to throw a party at my house and invite a few people from my group. I could not decide whether to invite her because we did not talk but eventually i did.
    There were a lot of people in the house, we started drinking and playing beer pong. Of course at first I was talking to everyone except her, but after a few beers -there she was again, always by my side. We were in a team together, after some time she started to discreetly touch my arm, hug me, even when we were standing we stood so close that we were constantly touching each other. When we were sitting she touched my leg and I grabbed her hand but I realized that I went to far and I took it back but she did not look as it offended her. On every photo we are hugging or touching each other. Again, she stayed until the morning and was the last one leaving.
    But OF COURSE, back to the uni and we are silent. Talking to everyone except each other. I feel really really confused and do not know what to do. Is she interested? Is she just playing with me? I do not know about her orientation but she does not have a boyfriend. When I send her messages she replies briefly. What do you think about it?
     
    #1 Marceline, Mar 23, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2017
  2. Worker Bee

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    It sounds like even though she is self-confident and bossy in class she's possibly insecure and nervous about her feelings.

    It seems like she only feels brave enough to explore her feelings when alcohol is involved. She may not feel ready to be out in class however her behaviour definitely suggests there is something between you two and maybe she avoids you in class because she worries it would be obvious to everyone else around you.

    I would suggest you invite her for coffee and talk to her about it. If nothing else comes of it it will hopefully end your confusion one way or another
     
  3. FuelsMySong

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    be careful not to read into stares too much. i cannot tell you how many time straight girls have stared at me and it turns out they were just either admiring my outfit/hairstyle or staring into space and i just happen to be there.
     
  4. WMM

    WMM
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    What the others said, yes.

    I add, my own comment is you said you are not shy, but you are shy. Why not just talk to her? Why not just walk right up to her and talk to her every time you see her? Because you are, in fact, very shy.

    I do not mean this as an attack, by any means. It's an observation.

    Are you waiting for her to approach you? That's what shy people do.

    Please be well