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Bisexual? Lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Dizzydreamer, Mar 14, 2017.

  1. Dizzydreamer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi, so I have been dealing with my sexuality crises for as long as I could remember.
    When I was younger, like around 10/11 I found my moms Victoria Secrets catalogues and and felt something in my stomach I had never felt before. When I was 12 I got, what I now know was a crush on my junior coach who was in high school and it really freaked me out, (where I think the internalized homophobia comes in. I remember being in elementary school and girls would hold hands with their friends and I wouldn't because I was scared, I have no idea what I was scared of but I just remember getting really nervous and anxious and so I told my best friend I didn't like holding hands. I remember when my friends would ask me if I had a crush on a boy I would just pick the most conventionally cute boy in our grade and say it was him, and I never had like crush feelings on boys. It was more like I wanted to compete with them and be their friends. I would always get nervous around pretty girls and women growing up, and even now I get nervous when cute girls in any of my classes ask for my notes or something like that. But never around boys. My friend told me that I'm only confused because I haven't had expirences with girls like I have with boys. But I've kissed a girl once when I was 14 and till this day I feel like that kiss can't even be comparable to any of the times I've kissed boys. I've had true feelings for like one boy and I think that's because I he was my best friend who confessed his love for me when we were like 16 and I was more into the attention than I was him now that I think about it. Okay, what I'm trying to get at here is that I have identified as bisexual up until recently, now I'm starting to question if I am a lesbian? Any thoughts after hearing me out?
     
  2. davidfreckelton

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Bowen island
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    First off, I understand how you feel. I went through a similar process when trying to figure out if I'm bi or pan, but I eventually figured out that I identify with pansexual more.

    Secondly, I may be wrong but my first impression of this is that you're bisexual but more attracted to girls. It's not necessarily always 50/50, although it is in my case.

    I wish you lots of luck with this. If you have any questions, feel free to hit me up.
     
  3. beenthrdonetht

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Definitely not completely straight. But you knew that.

    Hmm, now that you think about it. True we can all respond to attention. Sounds like the most convenient term could def be lesbian. In my humble opinion, that doesn't exclude a few "one-offs", I mean there are special guys in the world and you shouldn't rule out meeting one. Maybe. But if you're not looking for one, if your eye isn't roving to his waistline or below, then the L word is probably appropriate.

    Bla bla you're young bla bla labels suck bla bla heteronormative bla bla.. OK I just had to get that out. Like at the end of commercials?
     
  4. seeking

    Full Member

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    I could see you being bisexual. At the ends of the day you are the only one that can really tell.

    I think you will be able to tell if you are 100% lesbian (no interest in men)... if you don't seek out companionship with men, if you don't care to have something sexual with a man (even though that could explain something else), if you don't really notice men on the street, etc.

    I would definitely say I am 90% for women and 10% for men. I hardly notice men on the street...when I walk out I think there are 20x more attractive women than men. Males just don't catch my attention. But, at the end of the day there are still a percentage of men that I become physically and emotionally into. I also notice that how I become attracted to someone is different...for men I usually have to be emotionally into them before I can even become physically into them. If I don't like his personality, I will be repulsed by his physical appearance. For women it's the reversed.

    Also I would say let time tell what your sexuality is. Date who you want to date and explore your emotions. If you are attracted to a man explore those feelings and if you are attracted to a woman explore those feelings. Expressing/exploring your emotions and attraction I think will help you truly figure out if you are bisexual or lesbian.