Hello to whomever may be reading this. I doubt that anyone cares but after a long time of deliberating and questioning, amongst many other adjectives, I am finally happy to label myself as bisexual. This is me, coming out. I submitted a thread a few weeks ago (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/231737-what-my-sexuality-label-help.html) rambling on about how confused I was about my sexuality and admittedly, I still am, but I finally feel comfortable enough within myself to know that I am bisexual. Some answers to myself: 1. No, I have not ever been in love or had a crush on a girl but yes I can picture being in a relationship with one and feeling comfortable and happy (although it is terrifying.) 2. I have and enjoy sexual fantasies about girls on a regular basis and that is okay. 3. I may have a stronger attraction towards and a bigger history with guys but that does not make me any less bisexual. 4. Sure, my label may change, but for now I am happy with this one. I am bisexual and proud. I am still scared. I still cannot picture myself coming out to my friends and family. It is a shame that I feel that way because I am so lucky, I come from a happy, welcoming home and I know they would be supportive of me. I know some people are in danger around their own families and so that makes me feel guilty for feeling this way. My friends are very open minded too, but there is just something so daunting about telling everyone who I really am. I touched on this in my last thread but I am scared that coming out to my family will make them realise that I have sexual thoughts and just generally a sexuality. I do not know if anyone understands this feeling and it is so silly, I know. Of course they realise that I have a sexuality but I dread talking to them about it and opening up that way of thinking, I feel so innocent around them and I do not want them to see me differently. It may be important to add that I would even be a bit scared telling my family if I had a boyfriend, just because I wouldn't be the baby of the family anymore, or at least that is what my mind is telling me. I do realise it is stupid, and I hate it. In regards to my friends I worry so much that they will start tip toeing around me, thinking I will fall in love with them or be offended by the slightest thing they say. I have never had any attraction towards any of my friends, I seen them purely plantonically, always have and always will, but I am scared they will not realise that. Anyway, for now, I am happy to come out to myself and online anonymously. It will take some time for me to tell the people around me but I am sure that I will come to terms with it soon, maybe I will update this when I do. Thank you to everyone reading!
Hi confusedbigirl, congratulations for figuring yourself out. That for me is the most important thing. When I figured out what I was, it eased the intrapersonal issues I had. I am also in the closet btw, I'm out to 2 people, and I have the same reasons for not coming out. Aside from the fact that I'm married, I do have close friends for years that I fear might reevaluate things about me and my intentions towards them if they found out I was bi. I've never fallen inlove nor have been attracted with my mates, well except to an ex-best mate (member of this close circle of friends) to whom I am out to(it's a long story). Sure there were vulnerable moments when I looked at both male and female mates and thought, "hmmm that's attractive" but I stopped after 5 seconds. I don't know why but sexual thoughts about friends in general makes me want to puke, so it's a no no. (If ever I do come out, I'd make sure to include that info, lol) Anyway, I'm also happy that I figured me out. And for other people to find out about me is as of now irrelevant, self acceptance comes first. Best of luck to you! -hushhh
I've followed some of your other posts and it seems to me that you are un-confusing yourself pretty well. Every point you make is right on. It's the people who don't see these things (revealing yourself as a sexual being, losing the "baby" status, etc.) who blunder into big mistakes. You have some awareness. It might be a good idea to clue them in slowly. It's tough on parents to lose kids even if they gain adults. P.S.: Greets from a native (literally) Londoner. Hammersmith Hospital.
Hello, thank you for sharing your story with me, I am glad to see someone that thinks in a similar way to me and I am not alone. I hope, if it is what you want, that you one day find the strength to come out fully. Good luck! ---------- Post added 18th May 2017 at 03:20 PM ---------- I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond to this, I hope you eventually see it. I have not really been on this site since posting this thread, everything is so confusing to me still but I am gradually finding myself able to come to terms with who I am. Your responses to my posts means a lot to me and I am so relieved to see that someone understands me. Thank you.
