Hello! I post today, under pseudonym, after only being registered on the site for five minutes looking for advice. In a nutshell, I have had crushes on boys and men, mostly a peers and celebrities, all my very young life. As of late, as I have entered puberty and such, I have begun what I believe is attraction to women. Also peers and celebrities. Online, I have found them (us?) attractive, and a certain gravitation toward that. After recognizing all of this, I have gone back and forth wondering if which, neither, or both is valid because I have exactly no experience of any romantic or sexual fields. I have sort of landed on bisexuality, however I continually wondered if what I have perceived as attraction might just be finding someone aesthetically pleasing or having a pleasant personality in a totally platonic way. While I am not rushed to figure it out, I do not enjoy a hanging question consuming my thoughts. How did you figure this out? Is there a way to tell what type of attraction something is? Any other random advice? Thanks.
I am not sure I can really give you any advice based on the fact that I am asexual however I do understand wanting to understand the way you feel and although I don't really like labels etc I needed to know what I truly was and spent hours online. I am now happy that the shoe fits so to speak. The only time I've been drawn to people is because of personality or physical traits that I wish I had. I'm sorry I can't really be of help but if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always reply
Thanks for your response so quickly! (This is an attempt to reply to NerdByNature. If I do not succeed, know that)
When I began to figure out my sexuality, I just kinda let my thoughts wander when I looked at people and felt for whether of not I felt a "pull" towards anyone. I saw sexual attraction described somewhere as "wanting to lick the icing off a cinnemon roll", that description helped me. I know I find guys pretty aesthetically attractive, but I don't really feel a pull towards them, or like it's a more minor/weaker pull. But I do think people can and do feel attraction in different ways, that's just how it works for me. I guess for random advice: don't feel as if you have to be in a relationship with anyone to figure things out or prove anything? Like, dating/kissing/whatever guys or girls to try to figure things out is fine, just don't feel as that is what you have to and need to do that to know or prove your sexuality.
Ha, I had to smile at that. Well put, it kind of highlights how you're opening a door... and wondering if you should walk in. It's a good thing you started the sentence with that qualification, and it also shows that you have a pretty good idea of what to expect -- some time of not-knowing. Oh, none of us like that hanging question, we want things to be settled. I know that doesn't answer any of your questions. But I just liked the way you asked them. If you can clear things up that well in your writing, you can in your life. With time. Also, what rainyday said. You don't have to be in a relationship to figure things out. Cuddling can help clarify a lot of feelings.
