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do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in life?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by FuelsMySong, Mar 8, 2017.

  1. FuelsMySong

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    I noticed there was a stereotype in certain movies and TV shows that people who are popular in high school lose their popularity later in life and they are left reliving their "glory days". However, i noticed something different in real life. For example, a couple of girls I know who were popular in high school have a ton of instagram followers now and are "instafamous". I've also read about celebrities who were popular in high school and are successful now. I think it has a lot do with good looks, good looks make you popular in high school and successful later in life because there is a certain privilege attached to being attractive. I personally was not popular but I was acquaintances with some popular people. They are doing pretty well for themselves. i am doing ok, not great, but not bad. I also think some popular people who are mean or bully others also end up successful in life and it is kind of sad. There was a video i watched of a guy talking about how a popular girl who everyone thought was "hot" bullied him when he was overweight and all the comments said "oh that girl is probably flipping burgers" when in reality, she could very well be a model because of her good looks regardless of how nasty her personality is. what do you think? do you think the stereotype that people who are popular in high school lose their popularity later in life is correct? or is it a case by case basis?
     
    #1 FuelsMySong, Mar 8, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2017
  2. JonSomebody

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    This is kind of a half and half response because I do know some people who were very popular in high school and yet in later years, they are in jail or not doing as well in life as expected. Its as if their lives took a wrong turn somewhere. Then on the other hand, you do have some who are doing exactly what you had expected from being so popular during high school. Last month, I ran into this guy who was very popular all around guy in high school and had all the expectations of being positioned at the top of the corporate ladder with some global renown corporation. However, I have to say that I was shocked and stunned to find out that he is a male stripper who is well known throughout the local club/bar circuit. I was invited to an exclusive private event where I witness him in action. After recognizing me, he was pretty hesitant on approaching me and even went through certain extremes to avoid me altogether. Nonetheless, he finally did and once he saw that I did not treat any different or viewed him inappropriately, he got comfortable and met up with me after his act was over.
     
  3. Patrick7269

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I think being popular in high school sets one up for misjudging life situations. Once someone is richly rewarded for superficial qualities they go on to believe that real challenges are overcome with superficiality. Of course life doesn't work that way.

    I fit in with everyone because I knew I was gay and woiuldn't dare exclude anyone. I had a wide circle of friends though I was never popular and in fact was really lonely. Thank God I was never bullied even though I found out years later that many already knew I was gay.

    It's easy to judge someone based on how you remember them long ago and how you see them today but in reality those are two points connected by a very meandering series of points, not a straight line. My only hypothesis is that life throws us exactly the ingredients we need to learn and sometimes the outward gifts are actually stumbling blocks, and some things that seem like setbacks are gifts in disguise.

    Patrick
     
  4. WMM

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    What is successful?

    Everyone I know who is successful has no Facebook page, or Instagram presence at all.

    The people I knew in High School who were successful, although I don't know if it counted as popular, became doctors, dentists, engineers, and college professors. One is running a non profit in Texas. They seem to be doing well. But their social media presence is almost non existent, except for the non profit itself.

    I guess it depends what you call successful.

    Be well.
     
  5. greatwhale

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    It is a sad and quite pertinent observation that nasty people often end up in positions of prestige and power. Not to say that popular kids in high school end up being nasty, only that the narrative of young popularity followed by ordinariness in later years makes for a nice fictional narrative, not reality.

    Macchiavelli's The Prince was basically written in response to this observation. His argument is as follows: if you consider yourself good, be good! However being good in life is a necessary, but insufficient condition for doing well, however you define "well".

    For Macchiavelli, one must be just as cunning as those who gain power and wealth through malice. One must recognize when someone is pulling the wool over one's eyes. It is in fact a law of power that one avoids being a victim by being just as organized, just as clever and just as ruthless as the nasty guys, while retaining one's firm moral underpinnings...that is never easy, but way better than being a victim.
     
  6. OnTheHighway

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    No. Smart, ambitious and personable people become successful. Some might have also been popular, some might not have been. No reasonable correlation exists from my perspective.
     
  7. Shorthaul

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    Depends on the person. Cause a couple of the "popular" people I went to school with became train wrecks and one is dead...

    But then I don't think anything that happens in high school is a solid indication of anything that happens later in a persons life.
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I don't think there is a straight yes/no answer to this question. People can be popular at school for all sorts of reasons - some good and some bad and it really depends on how they grow and mature afterwards, as an adult. I know I'm not the same person I was at school and I dare say the same applies to many of us on this forum.

    Popularity sometimes comes at a high price. I went to school with people, who, for all their popularity, made a complete mess of their lives. Some ended up in prison and others have been dead a long time. On the other hand, some of the less popular students at school have gone on to achieve good things. I'm not suggesting there is a universal truth in all of this, but we all have choices to make in life and I think this is a significant determining factor. Do bad things, make the wrong choices and be irresponsible and your popularity will bomb. That's my take on it, anyway.
     
  9. YeahpIdk

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I agree with what others are saying. I think it depends on what looks like popularity.

    I know people who were "popular," but were bullies and idiots. Your typical jock-douche and 'plastics.' Now they're teachers, or gym teachers (that irony never fails me). Then there were people associated with those groups because they were aesthetically pleasing and/or fit the criteria of that group, but they weren't as mean. All of these people, whoever I still somewhat know of, are mixed across the board with what they're doing now.

    Then you also need to define what success is. Is it having money, fame, or just being happy in their life? I know people who were "popular," kind of mean, and are successful in their career, but live a life I'd feel is boring and typical. To me, that's not success. People getting married in their early 20s and starting to have kids...that's not my idea of success. I think they're exactly what they seemed they'd always be: just another cog in the wheel. But that could be the very idea of success to someone else.

    There's one girl in particular that gave me a hard time growing up. To me, she stayed her typical trashy self and never grew up, emotionally. But I also see someone who had a bad home life and is doing what they can to make it in the world and their work-life. To some, she'd be seen as successful. I guess I could see her as having success in her career, but she's still obnoxious, and to me, that's not a successful person.

    I guess I'd say, define what success looks like.
     
    #9 YeahpIdk, Mar 10, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2017
  10. MisterMissy

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    The way I see it, it depends on what you were popular in High school for.
    Were you popular because you had good looks and were fun to talk to? Or were you popular because of the kinds of things you did, like you were really good at sports, or really good at debate team?

    There's no one way to look at this, but if you were riding popularity on good looks and sociability alone, then it's probably a 60/40 chance that you won't be popular or successful in some fashion later in life, but you might. Besides, Instafamous doesn't necessarily make you money. You might be internet popular, but does that turn into an income to improve your life-style? Maybe, maybe not. Then again, why are you instafamous? Is it because you take really good fashion selfies, in which case you might already be well-off, or do you take more trashy photos, and people enjoy your selfies because they think you look ridiculous? Then there is actual success, which has its own spectrum. People who had good gift-of-gab in highschool could become great salespeople, but they could be respectible salespeople, or people looking to trick you into buying a timeshare, or a special credit card or somesuch. Beyond that, you have the valedictorians and the super-smart students who did so well in math and science that they went on to prestigious colleges and universities, and got jobs in scientific industries or medicine.

    All of these people could have been popular, but they also didn't have to be. And it would also factor in which "clique" they belonged to as well. There's no one definitive way to look at it.
     
  11. FuelsMySong

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I think it depends on how you define success. For example, many of those with an instagram presence get modelling gigs. i was talking about success as in fame/popularity and to a lesser degree, money.

    ---------- Post added 16th Mar 2017 at 08:57 PM ----------

    I think you define success as more to do with money whereas I associate it more with fame. for example, you would consider a regular clinical psychologist who makes a good salary successful where as i would consider a psychologist that is well known like Freud, Jung, Loftus, and even dr.phil successful. also, small claims to fame like having your name published in a research journal. for example, the successful people i know are my university professors because they have had their names published in articles. but someone like elizabeth loftus is more successful because she is more famous, at least in the psych world. my doctors and dentists are rich and to a degree successful but i believe someone like mark zuckerberg or beyonce, is more successful than they are because people want to be them. i guess, all in all, i define success as being well known in your field. so if the dentists, doctors, and engineers that you know are some of the biggest names in their respective fields, then I would consider them super successful.
     
    #11 FuelsMySong, Mar 16, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
  12. afgirl

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    Perfectly said.
     
  13. OGS

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I guess my high school experience just wasn't as bad as everyone else's but I would venture to say that there probably is at least some positive correlation. I think perhaps the number one factor that determines "success" would be to be socially comfortable. Yes, there are a lot of side streets to success, but that really is the highway. People who develop that skill early are, it seems likely to me, more likely to have been popular in high school--and more likely to be successful later in life. Sure there are going to be people who flame out--and everybody loves when the quarterback gets fat and ends up selling siding somewhere--but overall I really do think that while life is very different from high school it's not quite as different as people like to think...
     
  14. gravechild

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    Sometimes its the opposite... high school isn't life. We're still growing and have less control. How are we defining success, anyway? Popularity? It seems to matter less to me each day. Perhaps I'm bitter... those were some of my worst years, but a lot of my choices came down to home dynamics, which have changed quite a bit since then.
     
  15. Lexington

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    I can only tell you what I've seen, but in general, it seems the popular ones remain popular, and the non-popular ones sort of find their own way through life. There are of course exceptions, and those exceptions make for great online reading and movie scripts. The hoi polloi often don't get over their jealousy of those who had the advantages they never had, and tend to want to extend those anomalous stories into rules-of-thumb.

    And just to be clear, I'm in the hoi polloi. I was a quiet, awkward kid, but me and my friends found our ways through life. The popular ones? They're the ones with flourishing law firms and whatnot. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #15 Lexington, Mar 19, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2017
  16. OnTheHighway

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    Lex,

    That is an interesting perspective, although the opposite of my experience.

    I was just at a party for the daughter of one of my good friends from high school. There were a bunch of others from high school in attendance with their kids that I had not seen since high school. I was definitely the unpopular one of the group (and my good friend was not that popular himself). Some of the others at the party were actually ones I looked up to as being popular. Turns out, while they have done ok for themselves, nothing exceptional or out of the ordinary. At least that was my perception.
     
  17. CharacterStudy

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    Re: do you think people who are popular in high school become successful later in lif

    Depends what you mean by successful.

    In my personal experience the really popular boys and girls at school (popular in a certain way, due to looks) have been less professionally successful. The popular people who were popular because of wit, humour etc seem to have done very well (senior positions in investment banks). Most of the nerdy people I knew, including some who were bullied, have senior positions in government etc.

    I have a feeling that some people who learn to get by on looks when very young have a tendency to coast later, but I know some beautiful and popular people who are clever, successful, driven etc.