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My Mom suspects I'm gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mattni, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. mattni

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    Well. I've been suggested that maybe my family suspects I'm gay already in an earlier thread, but I feel like this is proof towards that so I'll just tell you all what happened.

    I went to my grandma's condo on the weekend. My aunt was there too. She noticed my hair and she was all like "Wow matt! You're going to have a hard time getting all the girls off you!" She continued to hurl questions about girls at me and stuff until my Mom was like "I don't think Matt is really interested in-" She didn't finish her sentence and decided to ask me "Do you like girls, Matt?"

    I freaked out and said "No, not at the moment." I would have said yes if it were just me and my mom/mom and dad. But I didn't want to come out at my grandparent's house because that would be awkward and if I were to come out I would only tell my parents. Not my grandparents, not my brother, not my cousins, only my parents. I want to start small. But anyway... what would she have said if she continued her sentence? I have no idea if she suspects that I'm gay or not. What does it sound like to you guys? I hope I didn't mislead her into thinking I'm straight by saying I'm not into girls at the moment. But I really feel like if they're accepting I have to come out to them.
     
  2. johndeere3020

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    Matt, moms sometimes have a weird way of knowing things. Do you think she would be accepting if you told her the truth?
     
  3. beenthrdonetht

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    You should thank her for helping you get out of that awkward situation. "Thanks mom, for having my back during that interrogation about my (non-existent) girlfriends." Because it sounds like she 1) does have your back and 2) has some idea.

    Of course, this may lead to more discussions, but starting it out with gratitude is a good step.
     
  4. mattni

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    I have no idea. She gives a mixed signal about the whole thing. However I do have a second cousin who's lesbian. She doesn't seem iffy about that, honestly.

    The problem with that is she might not exactly know I'm gay, probably suspecting. I don't think telling her that would work, to be honest.
     
  5. I'm gay

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    Yes, it sounds like your mom suspects and was giving you a chance to say so. It is completely understandable that it was neither the time nor place for you. I think you handled it just fine. And it was the truth. At that moment, you weren't into girls.

    A parent who would be unaccepting would not have likely said that, so I think it points to not only that your mom suspects, but that she would probably be accepting of you.

    Give it some more thought, and if you agree, maybe it would be a good time to come out to your parents?

    Take care. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  6. mattni

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    I guess my parents are accepting. I do wanna come out, but i got anxiety and i always expect the worst. So... that's gonna take some figuring out. But thanks.
     
  7. BradThePug

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    Sometimes parents seem to know our identities before we do! The bad thing about this is that sometimes they try to drag you out of the closet before you are ready to come out. I would come out when you are ready to. If they are asking, then it is likely that they will be accepting of you. So, that is the good news.
     
  8. mattni

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    I can tell you that I'm ready to come out as long as I get support at home and only my parents know. And I really feel like I'm gonna get support.