What are you thinking?

I have a date with my BF tomorrow (!)

 

Had really hard workouts both yesterday and today. Tomorrow morning is going to be rough even by Monday morning standards

 

Fuck yeah for actually getting something done on my story! I mean, it's only a few pages but it's still more than I've done over the last month! (!!)

 

One of the hardest things about getting help is looking back at messes you made and realizing that try as you might, there's nothing you can do to fix some of them.

 

I really want a real autoharp to play. For now the IPad app is good.

 

Zoning back wall of Target (where we keep our toys and games) makes me want to spend money I don't have

 

Still want to write. So tired, though. It's almost 2:30 in the morning. Can barely keep my eyes open but still trying to write, knowing as soon as my head hits the pillow, suddenly I'll have ten million ideas. Your resident black-and-yellow bastard is nothing if not a stubborn SOB.

Someone needs to invent a program for your computer that shuts it down automatically at a certain time and won't let it turn back on until a later time. I could use something like that, because when I'm writing I'll just stay awake much later than I should, even when I'm so tired I can't think of anything else to add to the story, and even when I'm so tired I can't even see the keyboard straight.

 

Where did my weekend go? :confused2:

I just don't want to be at work. And my vacation isn't until mid-May...

 

Cruel and unusual punishment!

 

Really jet-lagged, I've had four days of either way too much sleep (18 hours the other day), or nowhere near enough (didn't sleep at all last night). Sooo tired.

 

So I hear this loud-ass crashing coming from upstairs, sounds of shit being thrown or knocked around. I go upstairs, thinking someone's breaking in or something, to find that no, it's not a break-in, it's just my brother throwing a bitchfit about something. He broke the glass in the oven door that my father just fixed two months ago (from when I accidentally broke it), flipped over a coffeetable (and everything on it), and broke a lamp that my father made for my mother as a gift. Among other things.

I don't even want to picture the blitzkrieg that is going to ensue when my mother gets home and sees what he did. There's a difference between being angry and accidentally breaking something that belongs to you (I'm certainly no stranger to that), and just being an asshole and breaking someone else's shit. He refuses to tell me what he's throwing a tantrum over, but I can guess is that it's the same girl that he's absolutely smitten with. He knows for a fact she is, for lack of a better term, relatively easy. She's leading him on. He knows she's just playing with him. But he can't get over her, so at least once a month shit like this happens.

It's times like this when I am so glad I'm ace, that I am so glad I'm aromantic. I could give a fuck less about relationships. The closest I'll ever come to experiencing that kind of heartbreak is when I watch my BVB get knocked out of the CL or the DFB-Pokal. At least my team doesn't intentionally fuck with me like this girl does to my bro at least once a month.

In summary: relationships suck and I don't understand why people want to be in them. Who needs that kind of heartbreak? Ain't nobody for time for that.

 

74% on speech

 

Did 4 a.m. to 5 p.m. at work today 0.0

 

I ain't talking money I'm just physically obsessed

 

Spoiler

And for a moment, while off medication and erratic, it almost looked like someone viewed me as inhuman.
I'm going to be thinking about that for a while.

 

Honestly, it's better than manning self checkout. Now, I want to buy Imploding Kittens.

 

WHY CAN'T I DRAW BOOBS

I am never going to be able to draw a convincing female. Every time I try to draw boobs the whole chest area just ends up looking like a buff dude. Which is great when I'm drawing a buff dude, but THIS IS A WOMAN AND THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TA-TAS :bang:

Maybe I'll just stick to drawing men. My men are much better-looking than my women, anyways.

 

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day.

 

Can't wait for Total Wine to open across town this Thursday

 

I hate jealousy