In my forties and prefer older women. There doesn't seem to be much around for older lesbian women where I live. Feeling very torn at the moment with accepting who I am. I think I'm okay with it and then there's another little bump in the road. It doesn't help when some people think it's okay to make me feel uncomfortable and try and embarrass me about my sexuality. I just can't deal with myself at the moment with all the depression and anxiety, social anxiety, being made redundant, being long term single and not dating. It's all too much. Sorry for the incoherent rant.
Hello PinkCarnation41...being alone is sure not a good thing. I was 16 when my step father died in a car accident. My mother moved back to where her family came from 1500 miles away. I collected all my belongings in two big boxes and return to college after the funeral. It was November and a month later everybody in the dorm went home for Christmas and I stayed at the dorm (the only one there) because I had no where else to go. I was alone at one of the most difficult times of my life. When Summer break came I found a little two-room apartment and was alone again all Summer. This went on for five years. Even when college was in session and I was going to class I really had no friends. The loneliness was overwhelming and almost took my life. It took me many years to finally put that behind me. I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. What I discovered, finally, was that I had to break the cycle of loneliness myself by going out and finding people who would eventually become my friends. I think that really accepting who you are is the first step to break the cycle that you are in. You need to become your own best friend, love yourself and be happy/content that you have found out who you really are. Then you will find it much easier to find friends gay or straight. Have you considered a therapist/counsellor? My therapist has literally saved my life. His help and support as I have discovered who I am have been absolutely critical. I'm still learning who I am, but with his help the journey has been much easier and quicker than it would have been by myself. I so hope that things work out for you...keep your fabulous lesbian head held high and show yourself and the world that you are important.....David
Hello PinkCarnation41 I do feel your pain. I am 31 and have never dated anybody my own age, always older. I have been single for 18 months now and I feel the most loneliest I have ever been in my life. I am just planning a trip around the world as I feel whilst I am single and able to do it, I may as well grab life with two hands and get out there. I have done a lot of travelling but with my ex partner so as I am planning this solo trip I am nervous and excited at the same time. You are single and fabulous!!!!!!
There is no shame in being single, although there is the loneliness bit. When you say older, do you mean older than you, or just not younger? I live in an area where it is impossible to find someone right now. Just sucking it up and trying to be content for the next few years before I can move somewhere bigger and more progressive.
I'm in my forties and bi dear. Don't you know it's hard for women in their forties to find a partner no matter what their sexual preference? It's not impossible though. A woman I have been close with, sexually, lives in Liverpool and she knows lots of women all over England, Scotland and Wales who are lesbian or bi. It's just a matter of finding them and I know it can be frustrating but don't let that stop you. Finding someone to love is worth the struggle. Here's a harmless non-addictive tip: when I get depressed I go on a SAM-e regimen for a few days. Google it. It's a food supplement that will elevate your mood and Mayo clinic says it has other health benefits as well. I find 200 miligrams for three or four days will pull me out of a mood slump. Cheers, hugs and kisses.
Thanks for all the replies everyone it's much appreciated. I'm dealing with quite a lot at the moment and am in a dark place. :bang:
Hi pinkcarnation41 I hope you're ok! I'm in my 40's never been with a woman but know it's something I need to do. Felt it all my life, did the head in sand thing. I hate feeling like this. Nobody gets me. I'm married with kids life is great but this whole lesbian experience thing is messing up my head. I've nobody to talk to, I wish I could make it go away. Good luck
Hi there. I'm sorry you've got so much on your plate to deal with at the moment. I suffer with depression, anxiety, I'm socially inept, currently not working, I'm absolutely terrified of dating even though I feel so alone. I'm way too embarrassed to say how long I've been single. I've never been involved with a woman older than myself. I'm in my 40s too however I'm not exactly a grown up. I'd like to find ms right and settle down but requires leaving the house at some point. Plus I fear my interests are not that appealing to most women. I know what it's like to be in a dark place. I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday