First off, I want to say sorry to all of my frens on this site. I kinda went AWOL because I was very stressed out. Second off, I am currently menstruating so I am not in the best of moods. I have a foster placement now, and I mean, they're pretty great. I get misgendered sometimes, but I mean, it could be worse. I have been really anxious and dysphoric lately, and in the midst of a bad dysphoric and anxiety attack, I mutilated my breasts with my X-ACTO knife. Those scars will remind me that I'm still pretty fucked up inside. I told my partner, and he was dissapointed, but sent me a cute email telling me that I'm amazing. I was diagnosed with a mood disorder last thursday. I started a new school, which makes me way too anxious than normal. I can't stand to even go in the lunchroom sometimes. I now take six medications for my mental instability, and am likely to be prescribed something for anxiety fairly soon. I've been very stressed, like I said, and I kinda just... didn't go on this site. Anyways, I'm back, for now! So HAIII!
Welcome back Deep breaths always helps me when I get anxious. It's tricky though, because once a thought enters your mind it takes time for you to feel normal again. Glad you're getting a fresh start
Hey CROSSY ROAD, I'm rather disturbed that you are cutting your breasts. Cutting is NEVER good. I'm glad that you're pretty happy with your current foster placement. I'm just SO sorry about what you went through with your last (potentially adoptive) parents and how they were unable to deal with your gender identity. To me, that just isn't right. In for a penny, in for a pound, so to speak. If you love someone, nothing else matters. But you are where you are, however, f**ked up the overall situation is. Personally, I'm not a big fan of meds and I would tend to believe (solely based on your postings here, of course), that finding an accepting, stable environment and (probably) being able to start transition, if that's what you want at this point, would solve so much of your anxiety/mental anguish without meds that... Well, let's just say that I have faith in you, as a person. Stay strong!
