Dear Empty Closets, I have lied to all of you. I am coming clean now and then disappearing from these orums forever. You want the truth here it is. I fabricated everything. There was never a jake, my parents never kicked me out of the house. I did come out to them though and I was distraught that they were extremley harsh and cold about it. I am just lost and confused. My friends abandoned me when they found out. As an only child, I had nowhere else to turn because I was afraid of getting the same reaction. That does not excuse my actions with betraying the trust of this community and their support that I lied to obtain. Please delete my account. This forum has helped me realize that I should be ok with the way I am and not have to hide any longer. I am sorry. I started drinking alot after I was rejected. I blacked out the day I told them.i would get home from work and school and have whiskey and before I knew it I was wasted again. The bottle never criticized me or told me that being who I truly was was something to be ashamed off. The bottle helped validate my existence. I was lonely but so is everyone else in a way. We're always hiding tried going to church but that was never my thing. I would talk to grandfather late at night in my prayers. I live in a very rural community, very conservative. I just became so depressed and felt worthless that I just wanted to know that someone out there knew the absolute hell I was in. Goodnight Empty Closets. Thank You for all the help you have given me. God bless each and every one of you.
Thank you for your honesty, AlecF. I think you'll find that Empty Closets are a very open and understanding community. We sympthise with all of your struggles - and know that sometimes those troubles that seem the smallest from an outside perspective, are actually the biggest when you are going through them personally. There is no need to fabricate stories to win our support - that's what we're here for. I hope that you now realise this and you continue to use EC whenever you need help.
No worries, AlecF. I think most of us would still like to see you continue posting on EC, but we will respect your choice, whatever it is.
Alec, Since I see that you're still logging in here, it looks like you decided to stay with us. I appreciate your confession here in this thread. That must have been difficult to write. Please do continue to post with us here. Your feelings matter, and your journey matters. In the interests of understanding you, perhaps you could start a thread and let us know what's going on in your life now. Since you've told us that you didn't get kicked out, please let us know how your coming out really went. You described it as "harsh and cold" but maybe some more details? We really do care about you. I won't hold your earlier fabrications against you, but I would like to know what really happened. Take care. ride:
Alec, you are by far not the first young man to go swimming in a whiskey bottle! My God son, no, your not the only one who has felt rejected, worthless, dirty and ashamed. I could go on and on. I have a brother, but he is nearly five years younger so I can completely relate to your feelings. You have a deep down need to be close to someone, to love and care about them and when it is not a women it is a very hard thing in the rural Midwest. When your friends talk about girls and you stand there and nod your head in agreement a bit of your soul dies. When you see your friends start to date and your alone. I know the feeling. The bottle only takes the pain away for a short time, I urge you to throw it away. Hell, I was so determined to live a "normal" life I even got married. Society sucks! I would urge you to stay here on EC. No one deserves to feel alone! I know because for over 30 years I was until I found EC! WHEN EVER you need to talk you can all ways look me up, I'm just across the Mississippi, so to speak. Take Care and be STRONG Dean
Alec, you never needed to make up anything to get our support. We are always here for you, stay with us. Just be honest with us from now on. We understand the struggle.
I admire your honesty. I hope you continue to stay with EC. I'm from a small community and a rural family. Believe me I understand very well. The alcohol has been a numbing factor in my life as well. Just share you here and let it be. Some may disagree and someone might ask or say something you relate to or not. Best of wishes and hope you stay