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Worse and worse....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Butterfly2016, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. Butterfly2016

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    The moment I finally begin to think everything is okay...suddenly its not. My husband keeps having these horrible moods where he gives me the cold shoulder for no damn reason. And when he does talk to me its either negative or name-calling. Just now I tried to get him to pay attention to what I was saying. Wouldn't even look at me. I grabbed his jeans from the dryer to take them inside for him, but instead he yanks them away, almost breaking my finger. He acts like this a lot. Does he just hate me? Can't say I blame him. I'd be angry too if I just found out I married someone who doesn't even love me....man my life sucks...:tears:
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    There is nothing wrong with your life. You have made an important decision to live authentically. This is not an easy task, and there will be bumps along the way. Clear your mind and try to get into a state of mental peace. You are far stronger than you realize.

    The people in your life need to process your decision in their own way and time. Your husband is simply having a normal (though aggravating) reaction to your disclosure. He is acting out.

    Best to separate as soon as you can so that you both have the space to heal.
     
  3. Butterfly2016

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    Wish we could...but lets be honest. I'd be dead in a week without some financial support.
     
  4. FalconBlueSky00

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    Look into HUD housing, food stamps, education grants, and at least a part time job. There is a support system out there for when your down financially. Use it and get free.
     
  5. baristajedi

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    I agree with bunny45, also, separation can be done over time. If you can't get out now, work towards that goal. Working towards it and knowing that you are msking the change will help you feel more positive and get you closer to where you need to be.
     
  6. quebec

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    Butterfly2016...
    I am so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult situation. What SiennaFire said is so true. We have dealt with hiding who we really are for a long time, when we finally choose to come out to a spouse, they have had literally no time at all to learn to adjust to the "new" reality. Some people just can't make the change at all, others need time while a few manage to make the adjustment fairly quickly. Those that have trouble can often become very angry that this has happened to them. They don't know how to handle it so becoming defensive and even abusive is not uncommon. It seems to me that both your and your spouse need room and time to find where each of you "fit" in this new situation that you both find yourself in. If he is really starting to be rough with you (words or deeds) it would sure be a good idea to be apart for a while. Making a complete break sounds like it's difficult for you right now so how about family or friends that might let you "visit" for a week or two to see if things start to calm down? Maybe he just needs some alone time to work through this emotional upheaval...maybe you do too? Sure hope things get better for you. Stay truth to yourself. You're trying to become the best "you" possible and that is not only OK it's your right....David