Lipstick/feminine lesbian.. bi -gender

Hi,

so I am what you would call a "lipstick lesbian", I am very feminine in appearance. Most people do not guess that I a lesbian. I'm a "pretty girl", as you may call it. I love wearing makeup and looking sexy as a woman. I do have some more aggressive manly tendencies though in my personality. However, when I was young I was a tomboy and always sort of wished I was a boy. This desire still remains now that I am in my mid-twenties. Ever since I was young I always sort of wished i could be a boy. I liked doing female things, but i also liked doing male things. Which is pretty rare. It's like I love doing both. In my relationship with my girlfriend ( who is also feminine), I like feeling like a "woman" sometimes, but also like a "man" sometimes, sexually. We do use a strap-on when we have sex sometimes ( both of us using it on eachother). Idk it's just sometimes I have this overwhelming desire to be a man, and it bothers me that I will never be able to be a man, you know? ... I love how I look and i think i am very attractive as a girl. But it just also bothers me that I can never be a man. One of my friends told me he thinks i am Bi-gender, which i agree i probably am. But the only thing that bothers me is that i will never be able to actually be a boy. I do not want to transition nor do i feel i am transgendered, its more like just a desire that i wish i could have been born with a penis and as a man sometimes. I wish i could have sex with my girlfriend and be able to have sex with her with me having an actual dick. I love dressing sexy as a girl, but I also wish I could be a man and dress like a man and be a man. I just wish I could feel what it is like to have a penis. Sometimes i get depressed about this. Does this make sense? does anyone else feel the same way ever? Thanks.