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I came out as Pan to my friends....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kawaiipotato1, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. kawaiipotato1

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    london
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    They mocked me and started laughing and making jokes about me being attracted to Pans. It really hurts because I thought they would understand, they're my best friends. I don't know how to react... I explained what Pan was. I don't know how to react to the jokes. I know they're going to slowly tear me down.And now I don't know whether to trust them not to tell everyone. I'm not comfortable with everyone knowing yet. What do I do if everyone finds out? The thought really scares me. If the girls find out then most of them won't go near me because they will think I'm lesbian and I want to get with everyone. I don't. And my friends think because I'm Pan , that I will cheat on everyone. It's starting to really get to me . So now I'm constantly asked 'are you straight or gay?' and i never know what to say...
     
  2. Assassin'sKat

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    It's really terrible that they are reacting that way. I'm sorry to hear that. As a pansexual, there will be people in this world who just don't get you. There are a lot of people, that even I know, who doesn't think it's even a real thing. I was gunna say to talk to them about it, but it sounds like they won't listen. And I can see that you are nervous. You not being ready to tell everyone. I get that, I do. And I can see how the jokes can really get to you when you are nervous.

    Perhaps they just need to be warmed up to the idea. My mom used to think that being gay was wrong, but I slowly warmed her up to the idea that it was just love, same as everyone else's love. Just say "neither" when they ask what you are. If they ask you about you, explain. Speak your mind, but do it in a calm and understanding way, understanding that they do not yet get it.

    I hope that you find advice somewhere that can help you and I wish you luck.
     
  3. LovelyLex

    Regular Member

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    That would be an awful thing to hear fron the people you trusted and opened up to. A lot of people doesn't understand or even believe in pansexuality. It can get really annoying and even hurtful.

    You said you thought they'd understand? Maybe this "humor" is their way of processing. Or maybe they'll warm up to it like Assassin'sKat said. I'm not trying to make excuses for then hurting your feelings or making you feel betrayed. It's just that you seem like a really nice person and if you trusted them ato some point, it makes me want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

    When I came out to a few people, I was fortunate enough to have a pansexual friend. I came out to her and to mutual friends of ours. Do you have anyone in your life who's a member of the LGBT community? Even if you're not close, most people in our community would understand your need to talk to someone (that's been true in my experience so far).

    I wish you a lot of luck and hope things work out for you.

    *hugs*
     
  4. MewDew

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    Okay, so if anyone asks if you're gay or straight, make a joke about it. Let me explain:
    "So, are you gay or straight?"
    "Yes"
    "No, are you gay or are you straight?"
    "Yes"
    This works for any multisexual person.
    I'm really sorry about your friends acting like that. I would advise explaining to them how it's hurting you, and if they refuse, find better friends. Find friends who can make closet jokes with you and treat your girl crushes the same as your guy crushes. Because if you do that, you will feel safer and you will have people to back you up, and tell your gay jokes to. Just the other day, I mentioned to my friends how I crack up every time my choir director tells us to sing "straight-toned" because I'm like, But I can't sing "straight"!!
    I hope you find some friends who will accept you for who you are. And if you ever need someone to talk to online, you can talk to me.