Okay so I have a serious question around being trans enough. Since approaching and starting T, I've got worries. And yes, I am the type of person that if they have nothing to worry about, I'll find something. Let me begin by saying I know I'm trans, it's been obvious for years and I've started to transition. However, I concern myself when I have periods of lulled dysphoria, because I fear that I must not hate my body enough to be transitioning. I also, despite wanting this, get a little worried when my voice sounds deep because it sits lower in my throat and it feels uncomfortable. I also get the innate fear of using any kind of toilet other than a disabled one when in public because I currently feel like I am neither man or woman. I wonder if anyone else has been worrying about this stuff, which, I have loosely termed "not trans enough".
Sorry if this sounds trite but, Your transition doesn't become valid by hating your body enough... your transition IS valid as long as it's what you want to do for yourself. YOU are valid! The only requirement for validity is that it makes you happy. If you are having discomfort with the changes, then that is different. Once your voice drops, it is permanent for life. Be very attentive to your comfort/discomfort with that. I would take some time if I were you to ask yourself where these feelings come from and maybe talk it out with someone you trust. This is all about being happy, you don't need to earn validity or be "trans enough."
All of that is normal and valid. Nobody feels crippling dysphoria all the time. It comes and goes or else it would be unbearable. And just because you're trans that doesn't mean you can't be happy or feel good about yourself. The voice is going to be physically uncomfortable for a while, I'm sure it's the same for amab people during puberty. You're used to talking in a certain register and the lower one is weak and unused. If you're mentally or emotionally uncomfortable with the lower voice, that is something to address because it will definitely happen. In my case it is more drastic than I even expected.
CHeers both. The discomfort is definitely physical with the voice, because it feels foreign. But I'm sure that'll subside in time.
I don't think you need to hate your body just to know that something else will make you happier. You can be okay with / like one part of you, but love another option even more. If it's really important to you, just don't settle for less!
