I posted before about this friend I have. He's very handsome, very masculine, athletic, likes sports and other "guy's guy" things that I have no interest in, he's definitely into other girls, he's had lots of girlfriend but is currently single We're very close, he was very protective of me in High school, he always has my back, but he's really bad with boundaries. He flirts with me, rub up against me and ask if I'm hard, touches me inappropriately when he gets drunk, the worst is when he tickles me non-stop until I'm in tears. I get mad at him, and he apologized and literally begs for forgiveness, it's just so hard to stay mad at him when he looks at me with that "puppy-dog" look (he has big blue eyes). He's also very affectionate, always hugging me. I flirted back once, he was rubbing up against me and I started cuddling with him, he just cuddled back and I fell asleep like that, while laying with him, I woke up in the morning in his arms,it felt so good. He made me promise not to tell anyone and said it was only because he had been drinking. esu advised me to ask him why he's flirting with me, and to keep pressing him until I got to the bottom of what's going on. It took a lot of courage but I sat him down and asked him why he was flirting with me, it wasn't easy, I had to put a lot of pressure on him, but he finally opened up. He admitted that he was attracted to me He said he was confused because he was always attracted to girls and still is but that I make him feel "curious" but that everyone says bisexuality isn't real and that confuses him. He says he sometimes watches gay porn and that some of it turns him on, but he sees other stuff that makes him nauseous. I told him that bi people do exist (I know one bi girl) and explained the whole concept of "bisexual erasure" to him. He asked me to kiss him I obliged and it was a really passionate kiss it felt so good. We made out. He asked if I would cuddle with him (we were sitting on a couch) so I snuggled up next to him and he held me and we talked, he asked me if I would be willing to perform some sex acts on him and if I would be willing to "experiment" with him. I told him that I needed time to think it over, so we just cuddled and I fell asleep, he woke me up about an hour (with a kiss) later cause he had to go somewhere. What do I do? I really like him, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm also wary about this whole idea of "experimenting" (his word) with him. What if after some experimentation, he decides he doesn't want to do it anymore? What if his curiosity is satisfied and then he moves on and finds a girlfriend? I get attached really easily. If he is bi, what does that mean in his case, will he want a girlfriend too? He's a ladies man and I can't emphasize how attractive he is; he looks like a younger Channing Tatum Because he's so hot it's practically impossible for me to say no to him. I'm worried thatI'm thinking with my dick instead of my brain. What do I do?
Bisexuality is REAL. He is Bisexual whether he wants to admit it, or he may be gay and the girls are his denial phase. Either way, the questions you ask can be asked of any relationship. You can't plan the future ahead of time in love. People change with age, with life, with experiences. As people change so does their love. It can grow deeper more meaningful or strained and further apart. That is life. I think you are asking the wrong questions. You have a good friendship, and are starting a good relationship. My question would be Do you think you will regret never taking this chance with him later on? If you would, then why have regret now. I know that is hard especially when you say you attach really easily. I go by the saying - It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
He could absolutely be bisexual. He could also be gay and only beginning to come to terms with it. What does seem clear is that he isn't straight. The "nausea" watching gay porn is conditioned, not hardwired; it's more likely because the reality of being attracted to guys is conflicting with his current schema of himself. Now the big question is... do you want to be with someone who is at the very beginning of his self-discovery process? For some people it's a pretty quick and smooth-sailing awareness, and the shift is pretty uneventful. For others, it can be a constant back-and-forth ("Yes I am... no I'm not... yes I am... no I'm not...") for months or longer. It's a lot to ask anyone to go through, but it can also be worthwhile if you have strong feelings for him. Of course... there's also the possibility you'll get hurt, but that possibility exists with any relationship. At the end of the day, what matters is whether you're willing to jump in and see what happens. And there's no right answer... it's just what feels right to you.
Boy, you're lucky as hell. The things I'd do to have a sizzling hot bi guy be into me and aggressively flirt with me. Though I agree the thought of me hooking up with my straight friends seems weird and kinda unnatural, like they're in a complete other box that I have put them into and I can't see them as anything else. I believe the transition from platonic friend to romantic/ sexual interest can be really hard. We call it "clique incest" if someone hooks up with a friend because it kinda feels forbidden and wrong, but you seem to have a strong sexual attraction towards him that is conflicting with your platonic friendship. I personally say go for it, it is pretty likely that he's at least bi and is just coming to terms with it. But be prepared for a rocky inner coming out, he might be do a step backwards which could lead to him rejecting you out due to inner conflicting feelings. I still say give it a chance, sounds like a hot love or at least hook up story.
Hey TOM666, I think Chip hit the nail on the head. You are right to be cautious. If your relationship with him has a chance to evolve into something truly significant, it can be worth it. But if he is just discovering a same-sex attraction for himself or 'simply' experimenting as a bi-curious guy at this point, are you willing to just let it go with sexual experimentation with him? (Basically being Friends With Benefits.) Or are you likely to invest (or are you already invested) emotionally in him to such a degree that if he decides "nope, not my thing" that you will be devastated? Just some thoughts.
Kudos to you for asking him, and it's great he likes you! I agree with others that you need to define your boundaries, even if he is bad with them. Since you get attached really easily, keep reminding yourself that he isn't your last hope at love. If he is bisexual, then he has only begun the coming out journey, which is like a mountain where you have a lead. The first decision, which you may have already made, is whether you continue being more and more physically intimate. Tell him what you told us: you don't want to ruin the friendship, and you are wary of being used as an experiment until he moves on. Don't worry about the possibility of a girlfriend; it's no different than him finding a boyfriend. Stick to your principles. If you feel uncomfortable, be honest and look for resolution.
I posted a thread about this a while ago. I've run into similar situation with straight guys. It seems like a personality crush. They are all capable of getting them for the right guy and they don't always understand why. I'm glad to hear that he's open to it and not making it weird and pretending like nothings going on but I'd be careful still. It might be a better idea to back up and let him figure his feelings out before he hurts you in the process. I never was a fan of being anyone's "experiment". I'm worth much more than that and you are too.
