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I want to come out but I don't know if my parents are homophobic

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mattni, Jan 22, 2017.

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  1. mattni

    mattni
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    Yea, I'll make sure to do that. I just don't know when to come out. I do want to do it as soon as possible though, it would really take a big weight off my back...

    ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2017 at 09:20 PM ----------

    Alright, I will. I just want to come out as soon as possible... it would take a lot of stress off of me.

    ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2017 at 09:20 PM ----------

    Shit, I thought that didn't send. Ignore that last one
     
    #21 mattni, Jan 24, 2017
  2. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Have you given any consideration as to how you want to Come Out to them? Such as telling them directly, writing them a note or letter, etc?

    Also, have you considered if you want to Come Out to just one of them first (like maybe your Mom) or both at the same time?
     
    #22 Quantumreality, Jan 24, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2017
  3. mattni

    mattni
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    Well, I have pulled the letter trick on them a couple times when I was too shy to ask them for something (like a macbook or a game boy... i'm a nerd) so maybe that would be a good way since I'm used to doing that. I don't think I could talk to them directly about it. I would die. Of nervousness.

    If I had to talk to them directly I would talk to my Dad first. He is more calm than my mom, and I won't get as many questions pelted at me than if I tell my mom.
     
    #23 mattni, Jan 24, 2017
  4. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Sounds like you have a pretty clear idea of how you want to proceed, Matt.

    If you want some help editing a draft letter or whatever, just let me know.:slight_smile:
     
    #24 Quantumreality, Jan 24, 2017
  5. mattni

    mattni
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    Hah, okay. I think I can work in that myself, I'm experienced. Thanks for offering though lmao
     
    #25 mattni, Jan 24, 2017
  6. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Good luck!:thumbsup:

    Keep us updated!:slight_smile:
     
    #26 Quantumreality, Jan 24, 2017
  7. mattni

    mattni
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    Little update. My mom went on another one of those conversations about Gays at dinner tonight. She didn't say wether or not they're wrong in her opinion, nor my dad. She did say they talk a lot though (which is a bit stereotypical but hey). But she didn't seem like she was against them. Just an update.
     
    #27 mattni, Jan 27, 2017
  8. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    So, what are your thoughts, Matt. Do you feel comfortable Coming Out to them any time soon, then?

    It certainly sounds like your mom is trying to open the door for you - especially if that conversation about Gays came out of nowhere.
     
    #28 Quantumreality, Jan 27, 2017
  9. mattni

    mattni
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    Oh, it didn't come out of nowhere. It started with a story my dad told about a coworker and how she went on vacation with her gay brother and his other gay friends.

    But yea. If they're comfortable with gays then I'm comfortable coming out
     
    #29 mattni, Jan 27, 2017
  10. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Cool!
     
    #30 Quantumreality, Jan 27, 2017
  11. mattni

    mattni
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    Yea, I just haven't figured out how I'm gonna do it. Or if I'm gonna do it anyway
     
    #31 mattni, Jan 27, 2017
  12. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Well, no rush. But at least all the indicators sound very positive for if/when you do decided to Come Out to them. :slight_smile:
     
    #32 Quantumreality, Jan 27, 2017
  13. I'm gay

    I'm gay
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    I don't know your parents, so it's hard for me to tell. I would say that if this story from your dad isn't typical of a story he would normally tell everyone, then it sounds like an attempt to give you a hint that it's ok for you.

    If a parent posts here that they suspect their child is gay, one piece of advice we often tell that parent is to say gay affirming things around their child. It sort of sounds like this is what is happening here. You've said there have been several gay-related conversations lately. Is this normal in your house? If it's not, then it does sound like an attempt to give you encouragement.

    Just my 2 cents.

    :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
    #33 I'm gay, Jan 27, 2017
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