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Crying at weird moments

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Jan 18, 2017.

  1. baristajedi

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    I've been having this weird experience, the only orhertinethis has ever happened for me was shortly after my daughter was born (maybe the first 6 months or so).

    But lately, now that I'm becoming happier, more confident and more positive about all these changes in my life (coming out, separating, actually *being* gay (being with a woman), and so on), I've been crying at odd moments. It just sort of hits me every once in a while. It's almost like I've just had so much intensely emotional stuff happening in my life that the emotions are finally catching up and bubbbling over.

    Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

    ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2017 at 05:32 AM ----------

    *note, this is more like happy crying than sad crying, just sort of random emotions bubbling up
     
  2. WanderingMind

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    Yes. This is true for me, as well. Maybe it's because we are a bit like newborns, and maybe it's because we are on a journey bringing forth new life within ourselves. Whatever it is, I've cried more tears (of all kinds) in the months after discovering my bisexuality than I did in a whole life prior.

    Tears have healing properties, I think. *hands you a tissue*
     
  3. caliwoman

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    Yes. I also cry when I'm happy.
     
  4. baristajedi

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    Wanderingmind, I love the way you describe this, and I think this is what im feeling. And I do think the tears are a way to heal for me too, because the emotions have been so strong and sometimes so difficult for a long time, and now I'm reaching a better place.

    ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2017 at 11:43 PM ----------

    Yes of course! :slight_smile: I'm a happy crier, sad crier, always have been. What I'm meaning to say here is different.

    The scenario would be something like: a fast song comes on, I like it, it's not particularly touching or happy or sad, but tears just well up in my eyes suddenly. There's no apparent trigger, I just feel very suddenly like crying. This happens to me at a lot of random points lately, not necessarily at the same types of moments, just honestly, random moments.

    I'm not sure I described that clearly in my original post.
     
  5. WarmEmbrace

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    Yes BaristaJedi :slight_smile: have experienced it plenty of times since I've stopped doubling down on acting on how society expected me to act.

    Maybe because there are less interior walls, less compartmentalization, and when feelings pour in, the flow all over ?

    It gets triggered by a verse in a song, by a sudden realization, by a particular image or re-living a memory. By a dream or a story.

    In my case they are not happy tears most of the time though. In many cases is frustration. About trying to do "the right thing" so many years and conforming and in the end still ending up feeling conflicted, and not accepted. About fighting so hard and still feeling like it is all a sham. Regret that I could not find the strength to be the genuine me from day one. Regret that i thought of myself as a monster/deviant through most of my life, and I really wasn't one. Regret because I feel I no longer have the strength to wear the old mask, that even though was heavy, provided some modicum of societal acceptance. Regret that, in spite of my efforts, I simply could not rewire my brain to stop wanting the things it wants, could not mold myself in someone who can be happy with the gender they were assigned at birth. Regret that I simply could not become the person that my loved one wished I was. But I try to not let it happen in public. :grin:.

    Maybe I can work my way forward to the happy tears, after I work out the courage to present my true self to the entire world and find someone who can accept me for me :slight_smile:.

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 01:47 PM ----------

    I do trust that the causes are never random, for anyone :slight_smile:.
    It may seem random, but most likely the answer is in your subconscious mind :slight_smile:.
     
  6. looking for me

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    it could be that you're letting all the aspects of yourself out. the cork coming out of the bottle so to speak. I did something similar after my split and especially after coming out as Bi. I smiled and laughed more in 6 to 12 months than I did in the previous 12 years or more. at least it felt that way, so light, so free, so me....

    cant wait to find out what happens next....
     
    #6 looking for me, Jan 19, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2017
  7. baristajedi

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    I feel the same way, like my walls are crumbling down and that's where this must be coming from. I think your tears of frustration are good tears, they're healing. And you're right, when you can fully be you, maybe you will have the happy tears aa well. You're getting there! You've got a plan, and you're moving forward step by step.

    ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2017 at 12:12 AM ----------

    I think this is definitely true. And it does feel so free and wonderful! I can't wait to see what happens next for you as well! :kiss: