Bi, coupled and confused: friend with benefits?

Just tell him you'd prefer FWB. There are dating sites geared toward that and not all of them are sleazy. You can just go on a few casual dates and see if you also click as friends.

 

I don't think you are being very fair with your boyfriend. It seems that he has compromised and is open to you having sex with women, and it is now your turn to compromise and be okay with one night stands. If that is not possible, then you should revisit whether this relationship with him is sustainable, instead of trying to negotiate further with him to get exactly what you want.

This may sound harsh, but I think this is the kind of behavior that gives a bad rap to bisexuals...Just because you are attracted to both sex, doesn't mean you are entitled to fulfill them at the same time. If you feel that being with a woman is an important part of your sexuality that is lacking, then you should go explore that, but cut your boyfriend loose, if he is looking for a monogamous relationship with you.

I think an alternative compromise is to take a clear break with your current boyfriend now, and you go explore your sexuality with women. If you get it out of your system, and if in the future you both want to get back together again, then do so then. I just don't get the impression that the current situation is very healthy for either one of you.

 

^^ I agree with this. It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Your bf has been incredible to you and is being more than fair in his requests. You are correct though in that there is a very thin line between FWB and dating, and more often than not, there are feelings that develop from these situations. If sleeping with someone you aren't interested in is something you aren't comfortable with and feel you need to be with a woman on a deeper level, then you owe it to your boyfriend to be honest and let him go.

 

This is actually another good point that I didn't think about in my original reply. Personally for me, it would be a dealbreaker if I dated a bi girl who never slept with men and wanted to explore it. I would probably dump her if she brought it up.

BUT, some people CAN allow it, which is where my original reply was trying to come from, assuming that's how he felt about it.

Where I was coming from was to talk to him about the concept of friends with benefits, explain It's casual and not the same as developing feelings. However, if he still isn't ok with this, that is his right to feel that way and you have to make a choice between either staying monogamous or breaking up completely.

 

Hi Bippity, I feel for you. The sticking point for you is the 6 year relationship. This is not just some boyfriend who is recent and with whom you are still finding your way. You have a great basis to work from - open communication - and this really will be key to figuring out what is best for both of you. If he loves you he will want you to find out more about yourself but he is also probably feeling less than secure. I would advise you to proceed with caution and pay attention to validating him and reassuring him of your feelings, desires, need for self fulfilment and changinging commitment.