Hello, guys . You may know me as Claire from other forums I've participated in. Recently, I've begun to seriously question my gender identity. I've realized that I've always felt more comfortable in masculine clothing and with masculinity in general. It's odd though, because I still don't mind wearing skirts and dresses and doing traditionally feminine things, but I feel like I'm really a boy on the inside. This realization has been stressful for me because gender is different than sexuality; you can't just hide it. And it would be extremely humiliating for me to just suddenly ask my peers and family out of the blue to think of me as a boy (although I love my parents dearly and know they would accept me). Also, I would really appreciate it if you suggested some new names for me to go by . I'm currently going by Ollie/Oliver on EC, but I like other names like Newton, Levi, Nico, Jesse, etc. Thanks, -Ollie
I know you may not want to hear this, but you could just be confused. No, I'm not saying you can't be transgender, but you do seem to be hung up on gender roles as I am, and really... if you want to dress more like a boy, that's fine. That doesn't make you transgender. On the other hand, you could actually be transgender. Gender dysphoria is probably something that is going on. And to be honest... I can't say. Being transgender is often based on the personal mind of the individual. If you feel like you're male, then why not? Sorry for not giving a straight answer, but I'm of two minds on this.
You may also be "non-binary transgender," either bi-gender or gender fluid. I have distinct sides of myself - the male side that hates my boobs, wants a penis and prefers manly clothing, and the female side that loves skirts (princess dresses even) and all things sparkly, and much prefers her vagina. If anyone tried to take away either of my genders, I would fight to the death. Non-binary is an often overlooked category, because it's a fairly rare among those of the transgender community, only 3 percent of imab and 8 percent of ifab are non-binary. I suspect there are more, but because the possibility of being both is often glossed over by those who are binary, because it's not THEIR experience, I think there are actually a lot more who are bi-gender than admit to it. Women tend to be allowed a wider range of options, socially and sexually, and I think that's the only reason there are more afab non-binaries than afam non-binaries.
You can be a man that likes feminine things. It's less socially acceptable but it doesn't make you a different gender. Hope that clears your mind. Honestly, I find it laughable how someone people act like gender identity is based on what clothes you wear or what hobbies you engage in. I actually find it sexist. I am a woman that actually DISLIKES feminine clothes and hobbies, but I've never felt like a man. I don't want to be called male, I don't want a dick, a flat chest, deep voice, or testosterone. So the fact that you might like feminine things doesn't make you "not" a man. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 03:19 PM ---------- *some people
Well, one thing is for certain: I'm definitely not cis. I'd say I'm maybe genderfluid or a demiboy?? Naos210 does have a really good point, and I'd feel bad labeling myself as trans without being entirely uncomfortable with femininity (although I do have some dysphoria and plan to wear a binder if I'm ever out to my peers). I'm not entirely sure what to label myself as because even though I occasionally feel somewhat feminine, most of the time I feel masculine or something else.
Honestly, you shouldn't feel comfortable identifying as male just because you are a bit feminine. To define being a man as masculine, a woman as feminine, and non-binary as both is sexist. There are men who are only feminine, women who are only masculine, non-binary people who are only feminine, genderfluid people who are only feminine, hate all masculine things, but switch between feeling different genders at different times for different reasons (physical or pronoun dysphoria). Just because I'm not comfortable with doing anything feminine doesn't make me not a woman. I'm not a man or "non-binary" because I don't like dresses or make-up. And there are a lot of trans women who hate dresses and make-up too (butch trans lesbians have a community of their own). Being trans is about physical dysphoria, psychological gender differences, and different pronouns. That's all it is. Even if a trans man only wants to wear dresses or make-up, he is still a man, but it just means he'll face the hard ship that cis male crossdressers face. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 03:27 PM ---------- UGH. *feel uncomfortable identifying as male
Thank you so much, this helped me a lot. I think now that I generally identify as a somewhat feminine male.
