So I am currently in a LDR and it's hard, however we make it work. I am pan btw. My gf has a daughter and I have always wanted children. I am 32 and I am starting to feel like my time is running out. All my friends and family are having kids in there early 20's etc.. and I'm over here like "Look at my baby, (shows a picture of my dog) isn't she cute". I want to be a mother more than anything. I am not financially stable right now though as I don't work right now due to trying to get ssdi and ssi. I have a mental illness so it's hard for me to work. I understand the risk of passing my mental illness on to my children but my attitude is that if I do I will understand them and know how to help me. My mental illness is NOT going to keep me from being a mom. Then there's the question of how? So I am curious, those of you (women only) who are lesbian, bi, or pan and with another woman. Do you have children or want them? If so how did you go about becoming a mother? Did you conceive on your own with the help of someone, did you use a sperm donor, or did you adopt? Also, is there anyone else here who is in their 30's and doesn't have children that wants them? How do you feel about having children later in life?I feel like time is running out and if I continue to wait or take my time that I will never get the chance to be a mom. Having children is my biggest dream, I want them more than anything. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if there are any others in my situation or that feel the same way I do but if so how do you deal? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks to all who reply.
I know exactly how you feel. I just turned 30 last year and honestly it seems to be really, really rare that women who are into women want children. A lot of gay women seem to actually hate children, in fact. I still don't think it's too late for me, but I am slowly getting there. I don't want to have children with someone who will just disappear on me and the child(ren), so I would want to be in a stable long term relationship (3+ years) before even considering getting any. I think the best bet for me would be finding a woman who already has a baby or toddler and become a step mom right from the start, but with that comes its own complications. Like if we break up later, I would probably have no legal rights to even see the child ever again. I would really like to take in a foster child and I would be fine with doing that on my own, but no one is going to hand their child over to a poor single gay parent when they can just as well choose a wealthier straight family. I run into the same problem when it comes to adoption. I really don't know how to deal with it, I have mostly resigned to the fact that I will never be a mother and just try to push the thought out of my mind. This is really the only thing I hate about being gay.
