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Embarrassment over coming out later in life

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by canonymous, Jan 4, 2017.

  1. canonymous

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2016
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    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi. I am in my late thirties, and realized that I was gay about a year ago. Over the first several months after this realization, I told about half of my friends and a couple of coworkers. Six months ago, I relocated 2,000 miles away to a new city to start my life over again. It was the best decision that I have ever made.

    I have made several LGBT friends in my new city and I am dating a lot, and feel comfortable in my new identity overall.

    However, since moving, I have not told anyone else who's heterosexual that I am gay. This includes people in my new city, old friends, as well as family. For some reason, the thought of doing so feels awkward and overwhelming. A part of me would like to wait until I have a boyfriend and just slip it casually into conversation, but who knows when that will happen.

    Another issue I have is this recurring thought: "How could I have been so stupid for not realizing this sooner?".

    Does anyone have any advice on how to get over such a mental hurdle?
     
  2. LovelyLex

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2016
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    Location:
    Athens, Ohio
    Being young and closeted, I may not be the best person to give advice. But if it's just the awkwardness, maybe just wait until it comes up. If someone asks about your dating life, just mention that you were on a date with a guy.

    Think about it like this: Straight people don't have to come out. They just do their thing. Maybe that's how you should do it.

    And don't feel stupid. Lots of people don't realise this stuff until later in life. And if you want to ask more about that, I'm sure that people in the "LGBT later in life" forum would know all about that.