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Being myself

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lesbian188, Dec 26, 2016.

  1. lesbian188

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    I'm completely sure that I'm gay. I've been sure for about 6 months or so now. It's driving me crazy, not being able to tell my parents. I'm tired of hiding. I have a secret girlfriend, and I'm done with sneaking around with her. I wanna be open. I've come out to friends, who have been accepting, but coming out to family is a lot different. My family is very conservative and homophobic. All this weight on my shoulders is pushing me to considering suicide. Does anyone have any advice?
     
  2. carpenoctem308

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    The first thing you need to consider before coming out to parents is if it is safe to do so. Would they kick you out or disown you? I don't know how old you are, but if they did, would you be able to support yourself or have somewhere to go?
    My family is also very homophobic and conservative. When They found out, they surprised me with their reaction. They were a little disappointed but understood that it's who I am and who I always will be. I was expecting to lose much of my freedoms and possibly be isolated from my female friends but things turned out better than I thought they would.
    A big piece of advice I can give is come out before you're outed. I didn't get that chance. Somehow my parents figured it out or found out through someone or something else and since I struggle with talking to people face to face I didn't get to explain what I wanted for myself because my dad lectured me the whole time.
    If it is not safe for you to come out now, rely on your friends. Find others who accept you.
    Whatever you do, don't kill yourself. I've been there many times. I still struggle with self harm every day, but I've realized that things do get better. They really, honestly do. Hang in there. Things will work out.
     
  3. lesbian188

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    Thank you so much. I'm 14, and I wouldn't be able to have a place to go or be able to support myself. It may not be safe for me to come out yet. For now I'll just rely on friends, as you said.
     
  4. carpenoctem308

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    If you need someone to talk to, I'm here as well. Good luck, stay alive :slight_smile:
     
  5. iliketolift1

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    I'm in the same situation as you but with homophobic friends in a country where being gay is illegal so I get it. I agree with carpenoctem you have to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of coming out to your family. Stay strong until you can support your self or your parents come around. Sometimes with conservative or homophobic family all they need is time to adjust. Remember you always have us here on EC. Is your girlfriend out at all? If so maybe you can talk to her parents. Good luck and remember it gets better :slight_smile:.
     
  6. lesbian188

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    Thanks. My girlfriend is out, maybe I'll get her to help me.