OK HERE GOES: so there's this girl who I always see at school, and she's really pretty!! I always eat in the art room and so does she, but we sit at different tables. I'm 90% sure she's not straight (probably the first crush I've had that's not straight ). Do any of you guys have any ideas/advice on how to initiate a coversation with her or possibly get her to notice me?? *also, something I keep thinking about that is killing me- is 14 & 16 a big age gap?? I feel like I'm really overthinking it!!
At lunch when you two are in the art room ask her what she's having for lunch or just comment on what she is eating. i.e. "I never liked peanut butter until the 5th grade" if she is having a pbj. say something that is open ended that has a story behind it. She could maybe reply "with a simple smile or laugh or a few words and thats good. Then you can move on to the story behind the food you commented on or talk about your lunch. Or maybe you can bring something in for lunch that is shareable and offer her a piece that way your first interaction could be an act of kindness. people like kindness. Ask her why she comes to the art room for lunch. tell her you waned to come over to say hello since you always see her there.
If you are both artists and you like to sketch, ask her opinion of something you drew, or are in the process of drawing. Use common ground to approach her. If you are 16 and she is the 14 year old, then she is probably more fascinated by you than you are by her. And that age gap can be big in youth, because the older of you two probably has many more life experiences, and usually a higher maturity level. Being 14 means you are just starting to become a young adult, experiencing strange new things like high school, and things that tempts teens, like drugs, alcohol, and among other things. If you are 16, then you are probably 2 or three years into high school, and see and hear more things than a baby freshman would. As a 16 year old myself, it can be scary to approach someone, whether they are younger or older than you. But the natural respect we have for anyone older than us usually makes them more intimidating, even if they are as awkward as us. And whether or not that age gap is too big really depends on both of you. I have a friend who s in the 15-16 range and a sophomore(2nd year) of high school, and she is dating a senior(4th year). I believe he is already 18, drives, and has had several girlfriends in the past. Despite that age gap and his life experiences, they make it work and are clearly happy. It probably seems like I am ranting, but what I am saying is that even though a few years make a huge difference while young, it all depends on the contributing parties and how both/all handle the situation.
About the age gap- I am 15, dating a 17 year old girl who will be turning 18 soon. If you both are okay with the age gap then it shouldn't be a problem.
Yes this is a great way of getting to know her! Another thing to add is to remember to be yourself when talking to her. Don't try to be someone else you're not.
The art thing is a good idea. Did you ask if she likes to draw or make up stories? If not, just start with small talk. You could ask her out during the appropriate change of conversation.
I do think 16 and 14 are very different places to be developmentally, not to mention I might also question the legality of it- but I have heard some success stories. As you grow older age gaps become less important. I can relate to wanting to grab the notice of a girl you're really into. Back in high school I was into passing notes. Mostly because people just don't do this anymore (thanks to technology) and it requires just a little more time and effort. This will allow you to say what you mean without stumbling over your nerves. Or, if you're the bold type, you can walk right up to her and ask her to grab coffee. Or, if you're like me and interested in establishing friendship, take the time to get to know her and spend time with her before you let her in on how you're feeling. Best wishes!
