Questioning my Orientation

Heya,

Welcome to EC!

If you are confused about your sexuality, first take a deep breath and relax. This is about you and yourself, there is no need to rush to any conclusions.

Think about your attractions. When thinking about women, do you feel attracted to them? Sexually and romantically? What about men, do you feel attracted to them? When you imagine yourself in a relationship, do you think you could be happy with a man or a woman, or you would be happy with any of them? When you fantasize, do you think about men or women?

Stay calm. You don't need to pressure yourself or rush to any conclusions. Take your time.

Also, labels are really confusing most of the time. There's no need to label yourself if you don't want to. You are who you are, and that's what matters.

No one can tell exactly what your orientation is but you. However, if you think it would be helpful, you can share more of your story with us so it becomes easier to help.

 

No problem! That's why we are here for.

Apparently, you are pretty sure you are attracted to same-sex, even if you are a little uncomfortable, is that right?

If yes, then the feeling of being uncomfortable could be due to this being new to you (as we live in a society full of prejudice, and being non-straight is seen as something "different"). But, yeah, like i said, think about your fantasies and your attractions, and you will eventually reach a conclusion.

We are here if you need more advice or if you want to chit-chat.

 

Like i said, no one can tell you what your orientation is. But, like Creativemind said, by definition, if you feel attraction to men and women, you are probably bisexual.

Don't worry too much about your family or telling others for now, if you don't want to. Repeating myself, take it slow: First take your time to think and accept yourself. Coming out is another step.

 

I know right? I understand the mind screaming thing, hahahaha. But, yes, "forcing yourself" to take it slow is a good thing. It doesn't mean you need to avoid the answer if you have it, but you don't need to choose a label like it is something made of iron that you can't change later, if you feel it doesn't suit you.

About my coming out story (i'll take the liberty of resuming it ): I have always liked men and women, but i never really questioned my orientation until i was 18~19. I just felt straight people also liked same-sex a bit, but i never really thinked much about this.

When i entered university, i began to have more contact with LGBT people, and, one day, the thought crossed my mind: What if i'm not straight?

That thought crossed my mind because, like i said, i always liked both genders, and i never had much contact with the possibility of being bisexual before: There were "100% gay people and 100% straight people". And i realized it wasn't really that way.

So, to resume: I questioned myself for 3 months, intensely, in a battle between me and myself inside my own mind. After i finally accepted myself, i slowly started to come out to my friends, one at a time. Then my family, sister first, then mom, then dad. Finally, i changed my Facebook status and now i simply don't hide it.

If you are interested in Coming Out Stories, check our section about that here: Coming Out Stories - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

 

Thanks for reading it! ^^

Yeah, coming out isn't easy, most of the time, but you can worry about it later, when you feel ready. ^^

And, like i said before, we are here if you need more advice or if you want to interact with the community in other threads!

 

No problem!