1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Gay relationship more intimate/sincere?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Laura27, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. Laura27

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2013
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the Netherlands
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't know if this is the right place for a discussion like this, but I'll see!

    I am bisexual, with a preference for women. I have dated men in the past, now I am dating girls. And I can't help but comparing the relationships that I have had with both sexes.

    With men, intimacy can be avoided a little bit by 'hiding', be it conscious or unconscious, behind gender stereotypes. There is a big chance that gender differences have influenced you growing up, not just when it comes to experiences and expectations, but particularly the way you deal with emotions. There is much less of a wall when it comes to talking with women about feelings. This makes me personally a little awkward because I am not used to communicating so clearly.

    Because there is less of a barrier, there are no certain gender roles that society more or less puts on you. I used to challenge gender roles with my boyfriends, but it is not comparable to the degree of flexibility I encounter now that I am dating the same sex.

    I find it difficult to put this into words, and there are of course many more examples, but I was wondering if there were more people who had this thought!
     
  2. OnTheHighway

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2014
    Messages:
    3,934
    Likes Received:
    632
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I do agree with that gay relationships for me are more intimate and sincere. I do believe I have been more in touch with myself being openly gay than I was living in denial. As a result of being in touch with myself, I have allowed myself to be vulnerable. I believe vulnerability enables intimacy and sincerity.
     
  3. andimon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    549
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Eastern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Any relationship can be intimate and sincere, but it's the bloody society that has worked things out to the point where in hetero relationships the "roles" are so different that it creates barriers between partners. Yes, there are supposed to be some differences (even in gay relationships there is a submissive and dominant one, 90% of the times) and this kind of balance is normal, but from this and up to where one partner is told they're supposed to be superior/inferior, there's a long way to go.

    For example, in most hetero relationships, men are the ones who make the expensive gifts, pay the meals, are supposed to "always agree with her" and generally be the better person. This generates discontentment in time, and separates the partners on an emotional level, often the kids being the only bridge between them. I'm not saying that everyone should be 50% all the time, but DO meet halfway overall. Or at least strive to do so.
     
  4. iiimee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my imagination.
    While I don't think it has anything to do with gay relationships being inherently more sincere, I do think that I am more comfortable with guys, just because there is less of a gap between how we think. There also is less of a barrier sometimes, I'll admit, but being trans that is not always the case for me. I've met guys who, while they respected me as a girl, sort of placed me in a more feminine role. It was annoying, and I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship with someone for very long if they did that.
     
  5. Creativemind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    3,281
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think any relationship can be intimate, but hetero relationships are just pressured to fit into rigid gender roles, even if the participants do not want to. Gay relationships are more freeing, and yes, this is sad.
     
  6. Box

    Box
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2014
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sweden
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    The most intimate relationship I've been in has been with a man.
    That being said, I find that it's definitely *easier* to reach a deeper level of intimacy with a woman. Especially sexually.
     
  7. Anthemic

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2012
    Messages:
    1,890
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I completely agree that, for me, same sex relationships are more intimate/sincere. I even feel butterflies and euphoric. I do not feel that with a man. I'm even more nervous (in a good way) around women. It feels so much more special.
     
  8. meistro

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2016
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    i think it will always come down to the person, not the gender
     
  9. MaoKingofcats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    334
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Alaska
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I agree. Of course it's different for everybody on how they perceive on what relationship was more intimate/sincere.