I don't know if this is the right place for a discussion like this, but I'll see! I am bisexual, with a preference for women. I have dated men in the past, now I am dating girls. And I can't help but comparing the relationships that I have had with both sexes. With men, intimacy can be avoided a little bit by 'hiding', be it conscious or unconscious, behind gender stereotypes. There is a big chance that gender differences have influenced you growing up, not just when it comes to experiences and expectations, but particularly the way you deal with emotions. There is much less of a wall when it comes to talking with women about feelings. This makes me personally a little awkward because I am not used to communicating so clearly. Because there is less of a barrier, there are no certain gender roles that society more or less puts on you. I used to challenge gender roles with my boyfriends, but it is not comparable to the degree of flexibility I encounter now that I am dating the same sex. I find it difficult to put this into words, and there are of course many more examples, but I was wondering if there were more people who had this thought!
I do agree with that gay relationships for me are more intimate and sincere. I do believe I have been more in touch with myself being openly gay than I was living in denial. As a result of being in touch with myself, I have allowed myself to be vulnerable. I believe vulnerability enables intimacy and sincerity.
Any relationship can be intimate and sincere, but it's the bloody society that has worked things out to the point where in hetero relationships the "roles" are so different that it creates barriers between partners. Yes, there are supposed to be some differences (even in gay relationships there is a submissive and dominant one, 90% of the times) and this kind of balance is normal, but from this and up to where one partner is told they're supposed to be superior/inferior, there's a long way to go. For example, in most hetero relationships, men are the ones who make the expensive gifts, pay the meals, are supposed to "always agree with her" and generally be the better person. This generates discontentment in time, and separates the partners on an emotional level, often the kids being the only bridge between them. I'm not saying that everyone should be 50% all the time, but DO meet halfway overall. Or at least strive to do so.
While I don't think it has anything to do with gay relationships being inherently more sincere, I do think that I am more comfortable with guys, just because there is less of a gap between how we think. There also is less of a barrier sometimes, I'll admit, but being trans that is not always the case for me. I've met guys who, while they respected me as a girl, sort of placed me in a more feminine role. It was annoying, and I honestly don't think I could be in a relationship with someone for very long if they did that.
I think any relationship can be intimate, but hetero relationships are just pressured to fit into rigid gender roles, even if the participants do not want to. Gay relationships are more freeing, and yes, this is sad.
The most intimate relationship I've been in has been with a man. That being said, I find that it's definitely *easier* to reach a deeper level of intimacy with a woman. Especially sexually.
I completely agree that, for me, same sex relationships are more intimate/sincere. I even feel butterflies and euphoric. I do not feel that with a man. I'm even more nervous (in a good way) around women. It feels so much more special.
I agree. Of course it's different for everybody on how they perceive on what relationship was more intimate/sincere.