first of all I think it's great to have a safe online forum where people are not forced to come out I am in my early 30's living in Australia. I am of Asian background in the medical profession. I am also a Christian. Because of these multiple factors in my life, I am unable to come out to anyone except an online friend. I never go to pubs or clubs to meet people including friends. I never post online dating profiles. Besides I am under the impression that Asians are not regarded as very sought after in online dating world. I find it is very difficult to meet someone just through chance encounters who I can trust and could lead to further conversations and eventually a relationship. Although I am a firm believer in fate, sometimes I also feel whether it is necessary to take the initiatives so can get to meet people. I love reading those literary works where the heroes have experienced significant injustices or misfortunes in life but eventually conquered all but it seems that doesn't happen often in reality. I don't know if anyone is in a similar situation as myself, and I would really look forward to hearing your stories and experiences. Cheers!
Do you think you can explain why you believe this to be the case? What are the specific reasons for saying you are unable to come out -- due to these factors?
Hi there... EC is a great place to talk to people and make online friends. I also don't go to clubs and bars etc and I have little to no contact with other LGBT people in real life. I am only on here and one other social media place. I did come out but it's still not easy... I hope you will feel better on here and enjoy the site. There are some great people here.
Hi Lonewolf79 Thanks for your reply on my post. I thought I'd say hi. You seem very understanding in your words. For me, I have the idea that if I meet the right person I'd come out for him and for us. I really don't think men one meets at pubs or bars are what I would be looking for, true love to hopefully continue a friendship and relationship with. I'm not outwardly attractive but I think one needs to really get to know me. I find even that initial step of meeting people is very difficult being in the closet. . May I ask does your name lone wolf implies being single and possibly staying that way? Part of me has psychologically tried to prepare myself for a life of solitude but a part of me still longs for that seredipidity of fate meeting the love of By the way my name is Ol. Nice meeting you.
Hi Ol. Nice to meet you too. Firstly, coming out is a very personal journey and should never be forced. You should only do it when and if you feel totally ready. I am sure that the partner you are with will support you and that decision. We're alike in that I do not go to clubs. But there are guys who have had success meeting friends and partners that way. It works for some... not for all, in my opinion. I just prefer the quieter side to life and being at home or with friends and enjoying classical music as opposed to loud techno sounds I lived in Korea for almost 7 years and I could see that is is hard for Asian gay people to be fully comfortable and be out. My ex had 2 groups of friends.. one for his gay friends and one for straight friends. Even though I am out, I am a very private person but I could see how hard it was for guy in Korea to be more open. At the moment LoneWolf does mean I am single and planning to remain that way. I have no real life gay friends in my own city and I stay away from the LGBT community simply because I do not feel comfortable and I know I will be judged as I am a heavier guy and not all that attractive. If things change, then LoneWolf will just be a reminder of me over-coming my battles and finding happiness and love... who knows??? LOL I am glad you are on EC. The closet can sometimes get lonely but on here, it's a great place to be yourself and meet some awesome people.
Hi Lonewolf It's nice to know there are still men with substance out there often people judge others by their exterior covers before even trying to reveal what depth is truly hidden inside. I agree. I also don't feel comfortable to be known to LGBT community. What's between two people only matters to them. Anyway. You must have a good understanding of Asian culture and people then. What classical music do you like? I'm also a big fan. I can't stand loud, heavy metal/ bass music. Cheers
Hi there... Yes, it is nice to know. I wish I knew some in real life. Sadly I don't ... but being on EC has helped. People in my city can be very judgmental ...gay guys here want perfect bodies for the beautiful beaches... and I do not have that at all. I enjoy being by myself most of the time so it's OK. Let them have the beach... I have books and music Life in Korea was nice. I met some great people from different countries. It took time to get used to living there but I managed. I can't say my relationship was good. It was a lesson nonetheless. For classical music I love classical guitar. I am learning to play. I also play the flute and the violin. I enjoy symphonic works and also solo/concerto pieces. I started flute when I was 12 and violin at 14. Guitar I started in Korea when I was 35, lol. I love the Baroque and Classical period of music. What classical music do you like?
Thanks yes I saw them. I love the Arlessienne suite. I played some in high school on flute. While I was at university I had the chance to play violin in the university's symphony orchestra. That was an amazing time. 5 years (I played even after I graduated). So much music and concerts.
