Dealing with unintentional(?) homophobic remarks from family

You just.. don't involve yourself? Don't feel responsible to educate your parents, things should be the other way round actually. If you think you can chime in without risking to out yourself, that's great. However, if the question arises, you should be aware that you'd have to be lying unless you want to come out there and then.

 

This homophobia just sounds like ignorance to me, and if it's not an issue they can relate with or identify with (they don't know your true sexuality, and I'm presuming they probably don't know any LGBT+ individuals they are close to) these sorts of comments can happen. I'm not saying it's right, but without any other information I'd assume it's fairly benign. If you want and feel comfortable with it, you can engage in the conversation and slowly work through their misconceptions. As long as you chip away at it, you won't be giving anything away.

Remarks in my family were a lot more homophobic but were still ultimately borne out of ignorance. Within a few months after coming out, their attitudes changed. One of the big life lessons my family has learnt is not to dismiss the experiences of other people, even if the experience is something you simply cannot understand or relate to. I hope this helps.

 

Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. I know, not nice to contemplate. But if you feel vulnerable about coming out, it may be best not to bring up the topic of homophobia until you are ready to come out. Making your opinion known could have the effect of turning attention
on you.

I don't know your home situation (how confrontational your family can be) but this is the best I can think of. If you feel you have a chance though, go for it.

And if you have a hard time holding your tongue, pillows are always handy punching bags.

Sebby45

 

I don't know your relationship with your family, but there are three ways I usually deal with mine:
1. Politely tell them that I disagree.
2. Refer to a person in my circle of friends that doesn't fit into said stereotype
3. Change the subject so that I don't have to listen to more of it

I spent 1 month with my family this summer, and that was enough. I love them but they make racist, homophobic and otherwise... well, not cool comments on a daily basis.
I don't let things like that slip without making it known that I disagree. I never even thought about the possibility of that outing me.

 

I'm glad we were able to help! Good luck!