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Facebook and Extended Family

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Betteandtina, Dec 7, 2016.

  1. Betteandtina

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    So I am a young lesbian in college. I am out to lots of friends, my parents, and my sister. I really want to be out to everybody, especially the friends and family I rarely see that I am friends with on Facebook. The people that I care about are all really liberal and accepting, but I am the only LGBT person in the family (so far). There are some people on Facebook that I would prefer not to know (old friends and church people), but they are going to find out sometime. Anyways, does anyone have any suggestions on a Facebook post that would be genuine and real, while also slightly comedic? I am ready to be completely out and just don't know the best way say it. Any advice helps. Thanks! :grin:
     
  2. Gay Deputy

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    I came out on fb on National Coming Out Day. I laid out my entire story for all to see. From the struggles of being engaged to my HS gf, to being discharged from the military, a suicidal episode, and then an enlightening period where I realized how grand life truly is once you've accepted yourself. To me, the most important point I felt I needed to make was that I would make it with or without their support. I was independent and able to support myzelf. I left it up to their choice whether they wanted to accept me and be in my life or if they wanted to disown me. I made sure to say I longed for their acceptance and love though. To some, they said it sounded selfish but many more said it sounded strong and sure of myself which helped them choose to be included in my life. I believe doing it this way reallymade if easier on everyone since they could come to terms with if, make their decision, and then be able to tell me their feelings without that awkward face to face moment.

    I hope this made sense...just got home from a 10 hour shift and soaking in a hot bath barely awake haha. Best of luck on your endeavor and feel free to ask any questions you may have. I did this back in 2011 and I had no negative comments. My family was a little mad I had not come to them sooner but they eventually understood.
     
  3. Linkmaste

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    There was this awesome post about having a odd toe and it was kinda weird cause it talked about accepting themselves and staying proud. Then they added the kicker that they're gay and happy coming out day.

    I don't think I'll make the big fb post until I have a better job. Just don't want my employer to pop that sucker open and get some kind of excuse to not hire me. It ain't a perfect world out there but I did change my interested status to women only. Maybe that counted.

    To Gay Deputy: rough shift on the road eh? My back is killing me after handling a few guys. Take the longest bubble bath and I find a back message does wonders. Especially sitting in a car for over ten hours.
     
  4. Gay Deputy

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    The bath felt great! I had minor back surgery 2 years ago. The cold change in weather mixed with wearing duty gear and driving around for so long make it rough sometimes!
     
  5. Linkmaste

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    I hear ya about the back-mine is still screwed up from soccer. I find the cold change hurts my joints and I feel stiff from everything which is why I always take the more 'walking' jobs when I was on patrol. Even now, I don't mind standing outside babysitting the strikers at work-at least I'm moving around.

    On Topic: I suppose another good way would be a profile change with lots of rainbows. I thought about doing that way too. Or a more subtle and clever way of disclosing it.
     
  6. Gay Deputy

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    hahaha yeah, I guess flooding your page with rainbows might be a clue! I say, if you're stable and independent...just go for it. Times could be rough following but those times are what make us who we are today. Expect the best but prepare your mind and heart for the worst also. It's a tough spot to be in. I was a 6'1" 220lb scared shitless kid when I posted mine but the replies I got were instantly uplifting. I had the dream coming out and didn't hear anything negative. My bf's was the exact opposite. He was completely disowned by his mother until his father talked some sense into her. Now it's all good but it was really rough for awhile.
     
  7. TanMan

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    I'm in about the same situation as you. I have some very Christian/conservative family, and then the "who cares... you are who you are" friends. I'm out to my parents and older brother, and I really want to come out on Facebook. In fact, I have been writing my letter for about 3 months now. Just trying to make it perfect and understanding.

    As for Deputy and link saying about flooding your profile with rainbows... I can kind of relate to that, and it helps a alittle. I don't exactly mean posting photos and such, but liking pages and posts. For example, I like a bunch of LGBT pages and sometimes when I like a pic, friends and family can see it on their wall. Does that necessarily mean I'm gay? Not entirely, but it does show you support human rights. There have been many times where my parents have asked me about the photos I like of "two guys kissing" or "two guys holding hands" and they have asked me about it. This was of course before I was out to them, but it kind of let's them know that something is up. My parents have been disgusted by it, but again, it lets them know so when the time may come, they can handle it better... if that make sense???

    When the time comes, I'll be posting my coming out letter. I just want to give my parents some time to adjust, because it's only been about 2 weeks since I came out.