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Came out but not sure if I should have

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by VTH, Dec 1, 2016.

  1. VTH

    VTH
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    This past week one of my best friends and some others came to stay at my house for a couple days. The last night that they were here I pulled my best friend into my room and told him that I am currently trying to figure out my sexuality but i'm pretty sure i'm lesbian. He was 100% supportive and totally amazing about it, but while I was telling him I thought that I would have some great "weight lifted of your shoulders" moment. But, I didn't feel anything, honestly, I didn't even feel relieved, I felt nothing. Since then I've been seriously thinking what that could even mean. Yes, I felt that after telling him I would be completely ok with telling my best friend and that I would do it during Christmas break. Now, I don't even know if im going to come out to her because I think that because I felt nothing finally coming out to someone, I may not be gay..

    I may just be completely overthinking everything, but I honestly don't know what this could (or could not) mean
     
  2. seeking

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Well you only came out to one person...so you are still not fully out about your sexuality to family and peers. This could explain why there wasn't really a relief.

    Why not write down why you think you are lesbian and why you think you may be bisexual or straight then read it back to yourself.

    You might just have to go through your reason again.
     
  3. SkylarRain

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronto Ontario
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just because you didn't feel any relief doesn't mean that you aren't a lesbian. It could be for several reasons. Either, you knew this person would be supportive so it wasn't like telling someone who you thought would be homophobic or it could be that there wasn't that much anticipation. I feel like when I come out to people now, if I don't build it up much, then there isn't really much relief. I realize this isn't your situation, but I found the more people I came out to, the less it really mattered what they thought so the less relief I'd feel.
    I don't know, just some food for thought.