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Dating apps are harsh, aren't they?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by The Falcon, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. The Falcon

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    I recently started using dating apps, because there is no other way to meet new people...

    And the experience I have is very unpleasant. For example, I guy was flirting with me and being nice, but once I send him a photo of my face, not only did he disappear, but he blocked me altogether never revealing his face to me.

    They treat you as an object, a collection of body parts... This does affect my self-esteem, but I am still confident enough to know that I am quite handsome and very intelligent as well, but again this hurts more often than not...

    Any advice, any similar experiences to share?
     
  2. Alexrocks1253

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    A girl pretending to like me as a big joke. People on there are just jerks or catfishes, it seems...
     
  3. Chiroptera

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    Dating apps aren't inherently bad, and they can be quite helpful for some people.

    However, unfortunately, if you are going to use them, you can't expect too much. Like in other places, there are good and bad people there, and, unfortunately, things like receiving blocks from nowhere will happen.

    I'm not in any way trying to justify what the guy did. When i'm not interested in another person, i don't immediately block them and stop answering. However, unfortunately, not everyone is polite, so, these things happen.

    If you feel dating apps are being a bad experience for you, i recommend you stop using them, at least for now. They are an interesting tool, but there are other ways to find people, and you don't need to force yourself to use them if you aren't feeling comfortable.
     
  4. The Falcon

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    Thanks! But there are no other ways available to me... There are no gay bars in my country and people are generally closeted...
     
  5. Chiroptera

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    Yes, in some places, it is hard to find other LGBT people, and apps are a tool that makes things a bit easier. However, if they are doing more harm than good for you, then maybe you should forget them for a while.

    Also, maybe this thread can help you, or shed more light into this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...king-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html
     
  6. Steve FS

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    I have used dating apps for a while. My first relationship was off of one and it was great, and now I'm currently taking my time with my next one, but still using dating apps.

    I have learned that I'm not the most attractive person for everyone, and if people don't like me, they can block me and it'll save us both time. It hurts when you find the other person attractive, yes, but it's a blessing in disguise.

    I'm assuming you don't have your picture set up? Assuming there is an option to do so, put a profile picture up of your face so that you can save time. People who aren't interested won't message you back, and you can move to the next person.
     
  7. lonewolf79

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    Bonjour :slight_smile:

    I had a bad run with apps while I was overseas. I chatted to some very weird people and sometimes someone nice.
    I guess it works for some and not for others. I won't use them again now in my own country... I'd rather be by myself than go through all that hurt.
    Best of luck to you :slight_smile:
     
  8. nchehe

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    dating apps are good for photogenic people. I install them and uninstall them after couple of days. Was way easier in the past with mIRC
     
  9. backdrop

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    They are to a point . I cant imagine how many people denied me based upon my looks x.x. and that guy seems to be like a real super jerk and I feel bad for ya ( I also hope you find someone extra special ^.^ )

    I did find some long lasting friendships on them tho. Finding love , not really...
     
  10. seeking

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    I don't think dating apps are different from real life. People first choose people base on who they are attracted to physically and then they will try to get to know you to see if there is similarities.

    While there are people who are the type to become attracted to the personality & mind of the person. That doesn't always happen especially in setting that are designed specifically for meeting people for sex/romance.

    I have to think the person is good looking...but I don't always go for the best looking person. I could think someone is physically attractive but I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole because of their personality.

    There are more fish in the sea and sorry you experience that. When I'm on dating sites I move a lot slower than I would if I first came across them in person. I need to gain a friendship first before I try to be with someone.

    I have ran across pathological liars on dating sites. Tread lightly and ask a lot of questions. Online sites that are mostly free dating apps attract creeps. You have to "kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince."

    Also avoid sexting people from those sites. If you haven't constantly physically hung out with them then don't get too involved in just talking. You should be meeting them in person by the 2nd month and doing most of your chatting in person than on phone (if not LDR and even then I wouldn't do a LDR)

    This guy you came across sounds more like a person who is just looking for a hook-up. Hook-up people only care what you physically look like since it's a superficial encounter.
     
    #10 seeking, Nov 30, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
  11. Ryler

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    I've actually met a couple of nice people online, but I don't like the whole dynamic of online dating. It feels like many people on there are just window shopping for people based on superficial reasons. It is one good option that's convenient for meeting people that you would otherwise never have met, but there are other options out there, too.

    I remember talking to one guy for a couple of days, then suggested to exchange numbers so we can talk about plans to meet up and he completely vanished. He stopped talking to me for 2 months, yet still viewed my profile during that time period, and randomly decided to message me out of the blue after 2 months saying he was "busy" and didn't have time to respond... Yeah, I'm not that naive.

    I also have people that I message but they never reply, but I don't mind that as much.

    ---------- Post added 30th Nov 2016 at 11:58 PM ----------

    Also, try not to expect so much from dating sites. That way you won't get disappointed from a less than stellar outcome.