Is something wrong with me? On the bus, on the street, at school... All the people seem to be staring at me? Is it because I'm tall? Obese? Ugly? I don't know honestly. Or is it because I stare back? I feel like an alien right now. :bang::eusa_doh:
Not to undermine what you are experiencing but might it be that you think people are staring or that you are reading more into people than is there? Sometime we can think people are staring or noticing us when in fact they aren't, they are just staring or looking at something else. What sort of staring are people doing? Looking at you in the eye? Or at your clothes? Something else?
Perhaps you're reading too much into other people's stares/looks? I know that whenever I go out, I always look at my surroundings...which includes other people. I'm usually not thinking anything in particular about the people I glance at - I just happen to stare at them for a second or two and then look elsewhere. I mean, they are in my pathway of vision so it's only natural to look at them and for them to look at me for a second. It's just human nature to look.
It might be all in my head. I guess that if you're completely positive about something (even if you're wrong in reality), you start convincing yourself that this particular things is happening. Um, they're basically staring me dead in the in eye. But it might be just me. I don't know really. I don't think it's because of my fashion sense or something. I might look weird in general because I'm overweight? But I am only speculating.
"I guess that if you're completely positive about something (even if you're wrong in reality), you start convincing yourself that this particular things is happening." That's what I was suggesting but you put it much more clearly than I did. I don't know if this is what is happening or if people are staring at you - but I would say that unless they are staring at you in a sustained way then they probably are just looking around. What got you to thinking that people are staring at you in the way you described? Was it something specific? You mentioned eye contact but do they look away fairly quickly when you look at them?
The thing is, I often forget that I'm staring right back and I might be putting that person in the very same situation which might be the reason why they're looking at me. But in reality, I'm only doing it so I can check if someone is actually looking. As I mentioned in my first comment, I think it's because of my weight/height/both. I'm even starting to think that I might just look ugly. I guess people see me as a mutant or something.
I don't think people would stare at you if you are tall or overweight. I don't know about Bulgaria but in the UK people generally don't make eye contact or look at people. I've recently started making eye contact when I speak to people and most will avert their eyes rather than make eye contact. I don't know if your avatar is a picture of you but if it is you are definitely not ugly. From what you say it might be that you are looking at them and they look back at you. As a rule, do you look first at someone before they look at you? You said you check to see if people are looking so you might be initiating the staring without realising so. As you have acknowledged, these perceptions can be something that we create but which aren't true from the perspective of others. Do you have a friend you travel with who you could ask whether they think people are staring as well?
Bulgaria's still quite conservative when it comes to sexuality and open-mindedness and if you don't stick to the norm or in any way show that you're different, people will certainly be staring at you. My friends would just lie to me if I asked them how I looked because they wouldn't want to hurt my feelings. Because it's a fact that I'm fat, not just a personal belief. I guess I have to get rid of my own insecurities first and see what happens after.
Whatever your weight that alone wouldn't get people staring (I wouldn't have thought). Maybe if you asked them how you looked they might not want to hurt your feelings but if you ask 'do you think people are staring at us' they would probably just answer honestly. Do you think your insecurities is the source of you thinking about people staring? And, just to check, do you dress in a particular non-conforming way? Like a rocker or a goth?
People stare, whether you're beautiful/handsome or ugly. Of course, culture might also play a part in this? You might also have something that catches their attention. Plus, if you stare back, that tends to either make people look away, or in more confrontational types, do the same!
I guess it's all because of my insecurities in the end. I just have to man up and stop giving it so much thought. I dress pretty normally. I know that I don't look exceptionally good in them though.
Don't be hard on yourself about things. If you are self-conscious then you might just be hyper-aware of other people. I wouldn't say you need to man up but distracting yourself when you think that people are staring might be a good idea. Maybe listen to music, read a book or something or look out the window. If you aren't dressing in a way that would attract stares then maybe it is a confidence thing.
You're just paranoid I highly doubt they're staring. They're probably just randomly looking your way, and you're reading too much into their glances. Just like how my youngest brother thinks everyone is judging him when they look his way
haha, i think it's all in your head. it's really weird how our brains work. sometimes when we see a person laughing and staring at us, it can either be they're making fun of you or an entirely different thing. the second option, is definitely the case when we look at people we dont know, and we always assume they're making fun of us. our brains are somewhat wired that way. i forgot why. people are always going to stare at you, no matter what.
Maybe Anthony, they are all staring because they think you look handsome and if they are your age, they think you a sexy boy.
It just means you have failed as a ninja. Give them a blank "Putin" stare and they'll break eye contact
