What gender fits what im feeling? any ideas?

if you identify so strongly with the male gender then there is no need to call it any differently. What makes you not want to do that?

 

To be honest, most people don't mind being seen as neutral. Why should you? It's something completely blank, it assumes nothing about you, and especially for a binary trans person it can be miles preferable to being seen as your birth gender. Cis people even generally do not mind being referred to or seen as completely gender neutral, but that doesn't mean that they are non-binary. I wouldn't use the fact that it doesn't bother you to be socially neutral as a basis that you are non-binary.

To be quite honest, wanting to have a different identity so that you have more freedom isn't quite how it works. I'd be happy enough to be female or androgynous (in terms of gender identity, not body) so that I could wear rings and necklaces without getting strange looks, but I'm male. No matter how much I want to use a different label so that I can do things more freely or with less judgement, it doesn't make it the right one for me. If those things are the only reasoning behind wanting to label yourself as something other than male, I think you need to explore your identity a little more first. Remember that being male doesn't mean you aren't allowed to do certain things or express yourself in different ways. I wear necklaces. My brother-in-law (cis) wears rings all of the time. My boyfriend (also cis) has long hair that goes all the way down to the small of his back. I understand not wanting to be in a box, but the box is only as small as you make it, and being in it isn't a bad thing.

As for "messing" with people who can't gender you... if you mean that you like to confuse people and play around when they try to guess your gender, that doesn't really indicate a gender identity at all. I know a lesbian woman who enjoys that - she dresses completely as masculine and wears a binder, and passes as male incredibly well. Both her and her girlfriend like to go out together (her girlfriend is very feminine) and they laugh and make jokes about how other people mistake or confuse her gender. She told me that it gives her somewhat of a thrill to do, but she is still very female. I also have a male friend with long hair who finds it funny when people ask if he's a guy or a girl, and another male friend who crossdresses and again enjoys the confusion when he speaks. None of these people are non-binary, or trans at all - it's just a hobby of sorts for them.

IF however what you mean is that it makes you happy to be seen as completely androgynous, in the sense that people not being able to gender you makes you happy because you know you are presenting completely neutrally and being perceived as completely neutral, that's different. That suggests more that you're feeling happy because your gender (or lack of) is being recognised, and you're passing. I'm not sure if this is more what you meant, or if you meant you just like to mess with people. Keep in mind though, again, that this could also be the fact that you aren't being seen as female that makes you happy. It's very hard to tell between the two, but if you think on it enough, you should find the answer.

I feel pretty much along the same lines as you. I don't like male stereotypes and I don't like the idea that once I transition I'm going to be put into the "you are male so you must act male" box. But no matter how much I wish that I didn't feel male and that I felt female/androgynous instead, I don't. I'm male. Sometimes I feel feminine, but I'm still male at those times. Sometimes I feel neither feminine or masculine - but I'm still male. What I want to do and my actions do not change what my gender is. I've had people try to tell me I'm wrong and that I'm non-binary (one of them quite aggressively so...), but at the end of the day being gender non-conforming doesn't make me non-binary.

All that said, if you do want to call yourself something different, some labels you can use are transmasculine or non-binary male. Some people use demiboy but from what I understand that tends to imply 50% (or less) male rather than 99% male. Some masculine-leaning non-binary people use male. At the end of the day the label you pick should be one that fits you, one that you feel comfortable with, and one that will help others understand you best. Don't try to fit the label - make it fit you.

 

"Demiboy/Demimale" is a term for someone who partially or mostly identifies with being a boy/man, but still not entirely. Also, "transmasculine" is a term for someone who feels as though they would like to be male presenting / seen as a man / is trans, but doesn't neccessarily entirely feel like a male/man. It also sounds like you would rather be male-presenting, meaning that even if you don't entirely feel like a man 100% you would still rather be read as one. Its okay to feel this way and still want to present in an androgynous/neutral/feminine fashion

 

Perhaps you could call yourself a non-binary (trans) male, or maybe a "demiboy/demimale" as KipperTheDeer said. I would personally use the term "non-binary male" for convenience, especially because you stated that you feel "98-99% male".

 

I don't get why people still question if they are above 90%....

Actually the simpler the terms, the more liberating they are, imho. The terms are there not to box you, but to express you, describe you, help you communicate.

Look. I like confusing people about my gender too. It's just objectively funny. Anyone can find it funny. Same goes with being neutral. I think nobody minds gender neutrality, at least some of the time. I don't feel "completely male" either. It's just an aspect of me, and eveyone has "something of a man" and "something of a woman". It's just natural.

Moreover, I feel somewhat like a woman, whatever it means, it's a part of me too. I feel through-and-through like a dude and like a piece of a lady. But I don't know a guy who wouldn't feel like somewhat of a woman. And I am a trans dude, because my parts and brain got mixed up. Enough is enough.

 

How about a masculine non-binary?

 

How about not conflating gender identity with expression and using this label - "male".

 

I'm a trans guy. I like when people can't tell if I'm male or female. I like breaking gender stereotypes. I like wearing dresses, and I'm really excited to someday be on T and still wear dresses, so then I'll actually look like a guy even when I wear a dress. Being binary isn't limiting. Being binary doesn't mean conforming to gender stereotypes (and being nonbinary doesn't mean being nonconforming). It just means you're a guy who can do whatever the hell he wants and wear anything. It sounds to me like you're a trans guy who likes mess with people's perception of gender and confuse them.

 

I've heard demiguy or transmasculine maybe.

---------- Post added 29th Nov 2016 at 01:17 AM ----------

Mind due, if it's just about expression/clothing/'gender bending' for fun then you can be an androgynous guy there's a ton of cisguys like that.

---------- Post added 29th Nov 2016 at 01:18 AM ----------

OK tons was an exaggeration, but it's a thing.

 

I'm probably in the same place on the scale as you are and I personally use demiboy. I mainly only use a non binary label becuase i feel some kind of guilt claiming to be 100% masculine, so probably not quite the same reason a you'd use it, but it's also a good label if you just want to imply "my pronouns are masculine, but I think about my gender a lot more than to use a binary label, and I also respect non binary labels" in one hit. But there are many masculine labels out there, i find non binary labels in general to be quite a very useful way of finding people like you who you know will respect you, so maybe go ahead and have a look for some yourself too. ^u^