Hi all, Because of my g.i. (I'm out to my family, but not accepted) and because of other problems (I'm a useless person, my social anxiety affects my life so bad) (and I live as a male because I have troubles expressing my g.i. and I don't have money :icon_redf) because of all of these, I feel so much anxiety even at home; when I'm with my parents I'm always ready for some random beating (verbal... I'm still safe for now), when I'm alone I feel trapped in my body and the feelings are becoming worse... the only action I do to ease dysphoria is shaving my facial hair with care, I'm also afraid I'm using too much stuff, meaning money. I don't know how bad I'll feel if I'll be asked to be more cheap
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear all that is happening to you. Have you maybe looked into getting an easy job? Something simple and non-commital, like a cashier or waitress. I know it's really hard trying to do things as the wrong gender, but if you're able to get some money together you may be able to begin expressing yourself a little more - it'd be your money to use your own way, so you could buy what you like with it. Do you have any friends at all who maybe want to move out of their parents house as well/would be up for renting a place together? If you're able to get some money together from a job, that could be an option to get you away from your parents, hopefully easing your anxiety... I really wish I could help more. Just remember this pain doesn't last. There will be a day when a beautiful woman is standing where you are right now, and if your parents don't want to be there to see it, it's their loss. You are an amazing person and deserve to be surrounded by amazing and supportive people. Good luck with everything, things can and will get better. (*hug*)
I have applied to employement agencies, but I don't think that will be enough... it costed me, though. I have some friends... but I don't want to be a burden... And don't want to confuse them with my g.i. I was out to one, then got scared and recently asked to forget everything for a while... (he understood ) Now I'm not talking to him anymore... I know, but I'm starting to think no-one can help me... So i guess I was just venting... But thank you for your words (*hug*) I'm just good at helping others listening to them, offering advice (my friends trust me)... but that's not enough. Last week I tried to send a message to a trans association, because I was feeling suicidal... they arranged me a quick meeting with their psychologist, but she can help me only with the transition. I still feel hopeless...
I understand. I feel trapped in my body too. I'm ftm by the way. I am an adult and live with my folks. I'm not out to them and I dread those verbal beatings too. My mother is mentally unstable.
