Not important.. just feeling lonely without my child

Heyyyyyyyyy....

He's been gone 2 weeks and I'm trying to wean myself off from calling every day. He called for some money last week which was cool because he knows the price he has to pay is a little conversation. LOL He knows I won't refuse.. that isn't it. I mean.. it was the first thing he asked... for some money to get caught up on some bills and right away I said.. "hold on, I'll transfer to your account right now" so he could have got rid of me right away, but he talked to me a bit.

God I miss him. I had such fun showing him off when he was here getting the surgery. We had those two parties and my husband took us all for a pedicure when Jake was up to it, which was cool because my girl has heard all about my "trans son" for years, but never met him. She hugged him when I introduced him and said she's heard so much about him and was soooooooooo happy to meet him. Jake was all smiles!

He looks so good. I don't know if it was proper but I told him he looks better now than he did before he started transitioning. He just wasn't taking care of himself as a she but now he's ON it! I just wish he'd get rid of the nose piercing. The snake bites aren't bad.. they are below his perfect lips so they are ok, but the nose thing drives me nuts. lol Hey... I'm his mother... what.. .am I gonna lie about it?

It's hard not to cry and sometimes I can't help it. I just miss him. I'm empty nesting all over again.

Thanks for tolerating me!

Lori

 

No.. he'll be with his partner's family for Thanksgiving. I got him last Christmas for a month because his partner was out of the country so he's staying home this Christmas. I'm not decorating this year. When he comes I make it look like Christmas exploded all over the property, inside and out so when he pulls in the driveway it's dark, but when he gets up to the end of the treeline.. it just explodes with light and animation. lol The fun continues inside with lights and displays... stuff we made when he was little.. pics with Santa on the mantle.. the whole nine yards. Every room, every surface... it's all Christmas.

Last night he told me that the complication is healing well. I asked if he was happy and he said yes. He said everything is "fantastic". I hope that is true. I figure that I'll get out there by spring to see for myself. After that I usually go for the 4th of July and mid September for his birthday. This year I didn't go for his birthday because he came right after for the surgery.

I don't know how old your children are.. I don't know how far along you are in the process.... but burn every moment into memory because they become few and far between when they are older.

I worked on the back deck after he left and between minor repairs and painting, I just finished it last week. Maybe today I'll start taking down the living room and prepare the walls to paint ... if I can drag my sorry ass up. :sleep: It might be time to take down the guitar hangers and send the rest of the guitars to go live with him now. Maybe I'll just keep one.. the Martin D16.. just in case I get the urge. LOL :bang:

Have a great day darlin'... and mind those memories! (*hug*)

---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2016 at 06:43 AM ----------

Thank you.. that's very kind.

 

Thank you (*hug*)

 

I've heard horror stories, but I can't see how a mother could really ever separate from someone who is more a part of herself than anyone else on this earth. I hope there comes that time where you are up to it and can have those advantages of being your full self around them soon! (*hug*)

---------- Post added 28th Nov 2016 at 06:24 PM ----------

He's free. Ok... so I'm chatting online with him but.. yanno, I'm on the road on my way back from Florida (10 hour ride), soooooooooo... I've been chatting on and off with him.
He just was out changing his name at social security at dmv and all of that.

 

Thanks, doll..

(*hug*)

 

thank you, love. ... still miss him though. :icon_sad: