I met this woman online and she's cool and all, but I just ain't feeling her like that. I see her as someone who could be a good friend. She, on the other hand, feels like we could be more. After she sent me a pu$$y pic, I immediately scaled back my communication. Again, I see her as a friend and the pic she sent wasn't something I wanted to see. I communicated my desire to just be friends, to which she replied that she hoped I wouldn't mind if she continued to flirt. I'm trying to develop strong boundaries with people, so I said if she wanted to be friends, she'd have to understand the flirting confuses me and makes me uncomfortable (like we aren't on the same page). She said not a problem and that she understood. Days later, she began to escalate her pet names for me. Cutie pie and beautiful are not names I reserve for friends, but to each their own. She started very light flirting and I ignored it. Then yesterday, she told me that she's been thinking of me in a sexual way and if that's a bad thing? I didn't reply and have decided to scale back my responses. She text me at 4am and asked if I was okay. She seems to kinda freak if I don't reply right away. She keeps hinting at meeting up and I wouldn't have had any opposition to this, but the flirting makes me uncomfortable. I don't have those feelings for her and have already asked her to stop and she did for a few days, however, has since gone back to that. I have trouble drawing boundaries with women and wondering what YOU would do in this position. Would you ask her to stop, yet again, and respect your feelings? Would you try and salvage what MIGHT be a good friendship if she could respect the boundaries or is it time to learn to walk away (which I have trouble doing)? Thanks!
This girl seems to be full of lust. The fact that she isn't respecting your feelings is a red flag. I don't think this could even be a healthy friendship, because it is likely that she will continue to flirt, and possibly fall for you harder. Sometimes, people like this, cannot take a hint. They see your friendship and your kindness as an invitation to something more. She probably has it in her mind that she can "woo" you into falling for her. She probably thinks that she has to be persistent. I think you may need to lay it down for her, get a bit firm, and tell her that you are not interested at all, and that you never will be. She needs to learn that there will never be a relationship between the two of you and that if she can't respect that, then you two cannot continue being friends. I have a hard time drawing the line with women, too. I don't know why. I was talking to this girl a couple of years ago who I agreed to meet and see if we liked each other. Unfortunately, I did not like her that way. She was just not my type (she was a drinker, a smoker, and acted like a player). She was wanting sex, and I told her that I cannot have sex with someone I don't have feelings for. She then escalated to wanting me to move in with her. I continuously told her no, but she kept insisting. I then realized this woman does not care about how I feel; she only cares about what she wants. I then decided to block her without warning, because she became more and more persistent. I felt so much relief after that.
Her behavior is incredibly inappropriate and you need to lay down boundaries. This would be no different than if a man did this, it would be considered creepy and he would be labeled a "nice guy". This girl is basically doing the same thing. Personally, I would be extremely uncomfortable with this. I don't fault anyone for having a crush on me if I just want friendship, but I either expect them to respect the friendship or to leave if they cannot handle it. It's likely that a friendship with her will not be possible. She is looking for more and is unlikely to respect your friendship. She thinks you're playing hard to get. I would walk away if this behavior persists. If you think you could salvage the friendship by being honest and blunt with her, It's worth a try. But if she still doesn't get the hint, this will not be a healthy friendship for you.
Why do you want to be her friend anyway? It sounds like she has no respect for you or your wishes, so I'm not sure why you'd want a friend who acts that way. And it doesn't sound like she wants to be your friend either.
Sounds simple to me, she stops flirting or you stop all communication with her. If she cannot respect your boundaries, she is not the sort of person that is capable of being just friends.
I have a similar situation with a guy I'm friends with. I JUST have feelings of friendship for him, and he continues to pursue more with me. I get that it can be hard to set very firm boundaries because you don't want to hurt someone and it's just an uncomfortable situation to deal with. However, if you don't set those firm boundaries and deal with it head on now it will only get harder and more complicated. I think it's concerning that she has shown such flagrant disregard for your wishes thus far. The inappropriate, unwanted pics, the middle of the night text messages, the pet names, the continued flirting when you overtly asked her to stop-these aren't the behaviors of a respectful friend. I would encourage you to deal with things head on. I hope you're able to get a handle on things quickly and safely.
You've told her you just want to be friends and she should respect that. Personally I'd hit the block button.
Don't cali, just dump her. I've been (admittedly) on both sides of this situation. It didn't work out either time, both of us just ended up heart broken.
She doesn't think you're serious. She is not respecting what you clearly told her. Who the hell asks someone if it's still ok to flirt when that person just told them they only want to be friends?! If you are actually enjoying the flirting and pursuing then just continue with what you are currently doing. If you truly want it to stop you will have to break off contact with her.
That is relentless flirting there. And she's thrown all shades of red flags your way, and wants to meet up. If I were you I'd be careful, that might be a modus or something to steal from you or harvest your organs. Lol. Better safe than sorry. Seriously though, block her if she becomes too annoying.
She came back again. She kik'd me last night at 2am (she's blocked on my phone, but I forgot about Kik). Her last message to me was telling me I was shitty because I didn't tell her that I wasn't interested and just wanted friendship. She mentions an ad on Craigslist I have up. Her message is as follows: So, Caliwoman, hopefully you'll remember me and I won't need to reintroduce myself. I see your ad on Craigslist constantly, and I find myself really wondering if I should reach out to you again. As I'm sure you'll recall -hopefully- you weren't ready for anything yet because of that dreadful woman who hurt your feelings so badly. Are you still in that vulnerable state, or have you conquered it? I would still very much like to meet you, if you're open to such a thing.
