I hate secrets! I hate knowing that I'm attracted to girls, yet not being comfortable enough to tell my family or majority of my friends. I feel like by keeping this from them then my sexuality isn't being validated.
If you feel the need to tell them then you should try and work out a way to do it. Coming out is supposed to be something to help you be more comfortable and if you feel the need to come out then there are plenty of ways to do it.
You're right: secrets hurt. This is why people who have bad things in their past can't just "get over it" and keep it inside. It literally drives them crazy. Now I don't want to scare you... you will tell some people of course. You are an adult now and (in a better world) it should be OK to tell anyone or everyone. My best suggestion: read other peoples' coming-out stories. After a few dozen, you start to get the bigger picture.
What you have to realize when you reach a point of wanting not to keep secrets such as your lifestyle or whom you have an attraction for by being the opposite sex. The risk of telling those you are close to is that they may not be accepting or embracing as you would like them to be. Now...don't get me wrong...I'm not against you wanting to tell them if that's the way you feel. I am just saying that if you decide to do so...just be prepared if the reaction does not go the way you would have hoped it to be and be okay with it enough to give those individuals time to process that information on their own way and not get upset about it. I noticed that a lot of people on the forum brings this topic up a lot and when those loved ones do not give them the reaction or response that they would like...they tend to get upset and angry about it without realizing that everyone is not going to embrace it immediately or they may never come to that point. Therefore, I just tend to believe that you have to give them that space to let it all register in and if they don't come to terms with it..then you have to be strong enough to move forward with your life and respect the out come. Nonetheless, I wish you the best in what ever or however you decide to approach it because there is a good chance that you may have a great response altogether.
It's important for you to remember that your sexuality is valid no matter who does or doesn't know about it. I can understand wanting to tell your family, though, so do you think they'd be accepting? Acceptance isn't always the be-all-and-end-all of coming out, but it's always a great start.
That's horrible I'm sorry to hear that! OP I feel for you. Eighteen is that age where you're becoming an adult and should be letting yourself take off and be yourself. It might seem scary but it does feel better afterwards. While your parents might not accept you please please come out when you are ready and when you feel safe. Those are two huge factors.
