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Should I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Asking, Oct 25, 2016.

  1. Asking

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    Hey peeps, sorry to bother, but I'd just like some opinions is all. Thanks for answering!

    So anyways, of late I've been questioning my sexuality and doing some research. I posted a question about that actually, but that's beside the point, and I think I'm lesbian. I'm just 13 though, and really don't want to come out and be wrong. I'm just worried that it might all be in my head or something. Weird place up there. Probably am not, but ah well. That's fear for ya.

    I hope that no one finds this part offensive, none of my friends are anti LGBT, but when they were trying to find a way we could all be related through siblings and stuff one said that the only way would be if two of us married each other, but unfortunately that wasn't happening. I said I think I'm lesbian and they were kinda like ohhhh since I always pointed out hot teachers. I'm kinda worried that one of them will leek, though they're not the type. But as Ben Franklin says, three may keep a secret if two of them are dead. That's my lock screen. Let me clarify: I'm not afraid of coming out, my dad and bro would be fine and that's enough people for me, anyone with a problem can suck it up. I'm just not sure if I should come out as uncertain, as not all of them would exactly be overjoyed.

    Ha sorry that was longer than need be. Any opinions are welcome. Sorry if this came out as offensive, I do some times I'm told. Thanks.
     
    #1 Asking, Oct 25, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2016
  2. killswitch0029

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    I can understand why you might be hesitant given your age. While 13 may seem too young to truly have a grasp on your sexual orientation, there are some people out there who have known at ages waaaay younger than that.

    If being so young though does kind of worry you about being wrong about how you feel, there's nothing wrong with putting it off until you have a better understanding of it.
     
  3. Smores

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    You can always wait until your more sure but with sexuality, there is no guarantee you are ever going to be 100% sure and that's ok. If you feel like it's something you're hiding or lying about, I would tell them.
     
  4. Jaymiah

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    Don't go out, honey. It's going to be cold for us in here. We need your warmth.

    Kidding, of course.
     
  5. DAFriend

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    I say go for it. However you want to.

    Staying in means hiding, not exploring the possibilities, Out, even if you say pan or bi to cover the unsure part, lets you open up and explore who you are. Of course pan is the hardest, fewer people understand that than understand bi, lesbian or, gay but, it's all inclusive.
     
  6. TheRealSlimDork

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    Well, if it will help you accept yourself, then let your parents know. Depending on where you live, it's also a good safety precaution for some trusted friends or family to know in case someone starts bugging you-- so they can step in and help you out. This may seem kind of far-fetched for 2016, but you never know who you'll run into out there. If you're concerned about bullying or discrimination, then keep that in mind.

    If it's not really a foreseeable problem (or if it's a very visible problem) I'd reccomend you ask yourself if it really matters for you to come out right now. You are just 13, and likely not going to be in a relationship for years. Are you interested in dating right now, or is dating a sign of status in your school? If it's the latter, then I think you should focus on yourself (grades, goals, self-enlightenment) and your friends.
     
  7. Asking

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    Hey peeps, sorry for responding so late. Was on a plane actually. Killswitch, thank you. Glad to know that this is normal. You're right, no need to rush. Again, thanks for the input.

    ---------- Post added 27th Oct 2016 at 02:14 PM ----------

    S'mores, thanks for responding. Yep I think I'll go that route. Good to know that you don't have to be 100%. I'll leave it to the pros :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 27th Oct 2016 at 02:16 PM ----------

    Cold world out there. Filled with murderers and Shia Labuff.

    Not kidding, of course.

    ---------- Post added 27th Oct 2016 at 02:19 PM ----------

    DAFriend, thanks for responding too. That's true. I mean, coming out as bi can't really go wrong, I guess. If I am actually bi, great, but I'll have an open gate. Thanks again.

    ---------- Post added 27th Oct 2016 at 02:25 PM ----------

    TheRealSlimDork, thanks. Ha yeah I'm not into dating. I'll stick to grades, am a bit of a nerd actually. Truth is I don't really think it'd help me accept myself, I'm pretty settled in my own skin. I guess I just don't want to say I already had a shrewd idea when I was 13 when I actually do come out. So I guess I'd either come out as bi or not at all yet. I'm pretty happy either way. So, to the world at large, thanks for the input and I'm considering. I guess most here have been through something similar. Bye!
     
  8. sensibleshoes

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    I know how you feel. I started questioning when I was in the fifth grade, and that's way younger than thirteen! But you can't be 'wrong' about a sexuality. You can only discover. There is no right or wrong way. If you think you're a lesbian, but find out later in life that you're maybe bi, or were straight all along, good for you! That's normal! Many people go through this, and sometimes, switch sexualities often, because they can't seem to find one that fits them directly. So it's okay if you don't know. I am comfortable with knowing I am a lesbian, though I am only a year your senior. (Fourteen) I have not come out to my parents, but if you're confident enough to explore your sexuality with your parents well aware, then I, a wee gay, am proud of you!
     
  9. dublinz

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    There's no rush.
    Are you certain you don't know? Sounds like you're a pretty insightful person.

    But still, there's no rush. Really. There isn't.