1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I have a crush on a girl, but im straight

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sadie14, Oct 18, 2016.

  1. Sadie14

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So ive never dated anyone before, ive never kissed anyone and ive never had anyone ask me out. I think partially its because of my strict parents and their closed off views on dating and boyfriends. Of Course ive had crushes, but i went through like one crush a month and that also scared me because i got bored so easily.
    So recently ive developed a MAJOR crush on someone at work. A girl! Ive always thought of myself as straight, i never for a moment though i could be anything else but i just cannot stop thinking about her!! I dont know what to do because id have no clue of this is just admiration or an actual crush. All i know is i want to be around her all the time and it drives me crazy when im not, i sit there staring at my phone until she replies and i just think shes so beautiful and smart and strong and funny. Also i am pretty sure that she is straight and ive only known her for 4 months so its not long at all really.
    What do you think i should do, any advice is appreciated :slight_smile:
     
  2. PeterHuman

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2016
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Eastern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Try to analyze for yourself, what kind of a crush it is and how it is different from the ones you've had previously on boys. Is it just emotional? Is it romantic (desire to hug, kiss, stroke etc.)? Is it desire to have sex? What was the trigger of the crush - was it just physical appearance of her body (you somehow started to like her the very first time you saw her) or did emotions and admiration come first? Again, how does it differ from the crushes on boys?

    There are many kinds of attractions and many levels of them. You might be heterosexual and homoromantic or bisexual or something else (depending on desires and emotions).

    Just don't worry, take your time. If it bothers you and makes your working day uncomfortable, you could try to replace that "wrong crush" with something "normal". You can try to find a boy who triggers the same feelings and desires, so your subconscious would shift the focus. Because usually subconscious does not accept "no" command, "Just stop it!" won't work, but shifting focus might work.
     
    #2 PeterHuman, Oct 18, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2016
  3. Againstthewind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2016
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    As for whether it's admiration or an actual crush, try to picture if you'd had these feelings for a boy. What would you call it then?
     
  4. Sadie14

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you for replying! I think the ones that i've had with boys are only based on their looks and whether they will notice me. This crush has totally consumed me. It is in a way on a more emotional level as i care about her in a way i've never cared about my previous crushes. I think the moment i realised that i had a crush on her was when i realised how happy it made me to be around her and how i couldn't focus on anyone else when she was there. I want to identify as genderfluid because i truly believe that a human being should not have to put a label on themselves just because of the person that they fall in love with. But of course i cant do that with close minded parents that do not believe in any sexuality other than a man and a woman being together. I feel like i am at a loss because i dont have the freedom to explore my sexuality and i simply dont know what to do, i would appreciate any more advice.
    Thank you so much

    ---------- Post added 19th Oct 2016 at 02:52 PM ----------

    I think i would definitely call it a crush if it was about a boy, and the sad thing is if it was i could ask him out and things would be so much simpler:icon_sad: