I know I already made a thread about this, but I've had a rethink this time (also the last one got no replies so..) I am easily turned on by any sexual act to be honest, and when I searched 'hot guys' on google I was turned on pretty quickly; when I searched 'hot girls' I was turned on after a while, but it took longer I guess (maybe this sort of experimenting is a bit weird but V(|_|)V). When I think about doing something sexual with a girl, I get turned on, but when I think about doing something sexual with a guy, I am not turned on (at least I don't think so..). My sexual arousal isn't that consistent, however (could be because I'm 13?). I also only have sexual fantasies about girls. With kissing, I love the idea about kissing a girl - it feels real to me, somehow - but I feel weird when I imagine kissing a guy, like kind-of emotionless, like it's boring? I have a crush on a girl, and I can't imagine ever crushing on a guy (but I think I find them attractive - but this could be because of heterosexuality ingrained into my brain:icon_sad. I also like the idea of being intimate with a girl. I think I have a problem with heterosexuality being ingrained into my brain (I need to change my thinking). Any ideas on how to solve this problem? Basically, I'm scared that it will turn out that I was straight all along (I really want to be able to say 'I'm a lesbian' and I really don't want to be straight - is that a sign?). When I questioned my gender, I felt sad because I wouldn't be a lesbian (at one point I thought I was a trans* boy - I'm not). TL/DR; I am aroused by any sexual act, but I am more sexually attracted to girls than guys. My sexual arousal isn't always consistent. I am only romantically attracted to girls (I think). I also think that the label 'lesbian' fits me quite well (I'm probably a Kinsey Scale 5 or so), but I'm worried that I'm somehow clinging to a label that doesn't fit me. Any thoughts? I'm pretty sure this is all the evidence I have right now. Thanks in advance?
My first thought is that you are an extremely articulate 13-year-old, and you seem to know yourself very well. With that said, I think you should not worry about the label and just focus on your feelings. As the next few years unfold, you will likely have even more clarity on your sexuality than you do now, just as you now have more clarity than you did a few years ago. So, don't lock your mind into only one possibility and think you are defined for life. Just go with the flow and have fun in discovering who you are.
Thank you! (*hug*) Yeah, I've been planning on leaving it at least until January to come out anyway, so I guess I'll just wait and see what happens. Labels do stress me out a bit, so I guess I could try to think more in terms of 'I like girls, but sometimes guys' than just 'lesbian' or 'bisexual'
Yeah pretty much what Imgay47 said: you shouldn't be worrying about labels and such at your age, because you're just now starting to come into the early stages of puberty and you might feel a certain way now, and think that who you like is a definite, permanent thing, but it might change, and it's always the worst when you tell everyone you're one thing, and then later on you feel a different way and have to have a 'second coming out'. In my most recent years of understanding who I am (when I was around 15 or 16), I've come to really despise the label system, it's a real divise thing in my opinion, and it shouldn't really exist; just love who you want to love, it doesn't need a name for it, hehe. Also I really really hope you don't feel pressured by the LGBTQI+ community to come out; i understand its always been a sort of 'tradition' in a sense, that you have to tell people about who you are. Please don't feel that way! It's meant to be something personal, but it comes down to choice in the end. I'm not sure if this really helps you out, but considering we're pretty close in age there's not a lot of difference in the whole 'growing up gay' thing, and not a lot has changed in the 5 year gap between us hehe.
I think you understand yourself pretty well already. Your last sentence hits it: use verbs ("I like..") rather than nouns ("I am..")
