This is just me explaining how I feel about me. I am a woman, and I have always been attracted to other women. But, I don't consider myself homosexual. I consider myself heterosexual. I was born a female and have no interest in changing my sex. In growing up, I never really realized I was romantically attracted to women. I realized that not every woman was attracted to other women. When it comes to my sexual nature, I have that of a straight male's perspective. To me, being heterosexual is being attracted to women...and I am. I have been with one man, and to me, THAT was homosexuality. (and I later found out this particular man was in the closet and actually attracted to other men lol) When I flirt with women, either 1 of 2 things is going to happen. 1) she is going to get very uncomfortable and I will assume she isn't into me. 2) she will flirt back and I will assume she is into me. But whether she is or isn't, it never crosses my mind that because she doesn't flirt back with me she isn't homosexual or if she does flirt back with me that she is. I think its just a matter of her being attracted to me or not. There is not homosexuality involved at all. Of course, to others looking in, I am lesbian, gay, homosexual, etc...and thats fine. But I will never be reminded of myself when I hear those words. I am a woman and see myself as one, but to me heterosexuality is being attracted to women and I am. Can anyone relate to this?
I really can't relate. There are official, universal definitions to the words homosexual and heterosexual. Simply put if you are exclusively attracted to women you are homosexual. There is no *how you feel* about it. While we are all free to choose our own label or lack thereof, there is a point where we must conform to the dictionary or language loses all meaning.
I mean the idea of feeling hetero when with a girl and homo when with a guy pretty much shows that girls are the right fit for you. You feel for girls how society says normal heterosexual men should feel for girls and heterosexual women should feel for guys. Thats your normal. Which is homisexuality. But I get your rhetoric point for sure - what's normal for everyone else seems queer to you because you csnt quite understand it. The rest of it is rather silly. You have to accept the basic usageof language.
What SHACH said. Some people may call that "social brainwashing" but we could put a better spin on it: you're lucky that you don't have that terrible "wrongness-square-peg-in-round-hole" feeling. Feeling normal must feel pretty good. Good luck.
It seems to me like your thinking is the perfect example of heteronormativity. I agree that words have meaning, otherwise it would be pointless to discuss anything at all. Ultimately these are just labels and you can call yourself whatever you want, but I think you will have difficulty with other people understanding you.
Probably... Thanks for the reply. :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 14th Oct 2016 at 03:44 AM ---------- Nicely explained...I guess I can just say I love women and be done with it. (*hug*)
I can understand where you're coming from. I don't "feel" bisexual/pansexual, I just see people I feel attraction to. Having attraction to a guy feels the same as having attraction to a girl and the same as having attraction to anyone else. I wouldn't define it as actually feeling straight though... because when straight feels the same as gay, which one is it really? Do all my relationships "feel straight", or do all of them "feel gay"? You can't tell the difference between the two (which is one of the biggest things to get through the heads of homophobic people... there isn't a difference between "gay love" and "straight love", it's just all love). However, like others said, that doesn't change the underlying meaning of the words to describe sexuality. I am attracted to people of any gender identity, so that means I am bisexual (though I prefer pansexual, since bi implies men and women only). Someone who is attracted exclusively or near-exclusively to people of the same gender identity is homosexual. Someone attracted exclusively or near-exclusively to people of the opposite gender identity is heterosexual. You'll probably have a ridiculous amount of difficulty trying to make people understand if you define yourself as a heterosexual woman who isn't attracted to men but is attracted to women. ^^;
I thought for a really long time that I'm not into women, because I kept on telling myself "If I were a guy..." It's only that I started exploring gender expression that I realised that those feelings are not hypotetical, but very real.
